America is at the Rugby World Cup, and they’re better than they’ve ever been before

The Rugby World Cup kicks off today in London, the start of the biggest event in one of the world’s biggest sports. And yes, they do kick off to start the games, so that wasn’t an inappropriately mixed sports metaphor.

You might not know this, but America does send a team, and, to be honest, it isn’t that bad. This year’s Eagles squad is perhaps the best the United States has ever sent to a Rugby World Cup, and although they aren’t going to bring the trophy back to America, they could make American rugby history with a strong showing.

Having studied the Australian guy who tried to liveblog an NFL game, I consider myself fully prepared to tell you what you need to know about America’s chances at the Rugby World Cup.

No, no no no no no no, that’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. Let’s try a better question.

Yes, this is completely reasonable.

Team USA is ranked 15th in the world. They’re in a group with South Africa, a contender to win the whole competition. They will not beat South Africa. For comparison, when Team USA played New Zealand, another contender, last year in Soldier Field, they lost 74-6.

However, Team USA is also in a group with Japan, Samoa, and Scotland, all of whom are ranked between 10th and 13th. Those three games will be battles.

This summer, the Eagles have already played Japan and Samoa in an event called the Pacific Nations Cup, and they showed they’re on par with their opponents. They beat Japan 23-18 in Sacramento, and lost a tight match to Samoa (albeit not Samoa’s best team) 21-16 in San Jose. Wins here wouldn’t be shockers.

If the Eagles could win one of their four games, that’d be fine. The United States has been to six of the seven Rugby World Cups, and has only won three games, most recently over Russia in the 2011 World Cup. If the Eagles could win TWO games, that’d be an unprecedented feat in USA rugby history.

If the United States could somehow finish second in its five-team group, it would go on to the quarterfinals, and, well, that’d be pretty ridiculously amazing.

International rugby teams tend to have nicknames. Because America is America, we’re the Eagles.

You probably know New Zealand is the All Blacks. The Eagles’ opponents include the Springboks of South Africa and the Brave Blossoms of Japan. My personal favorite in this tournament is Uruguay’s Teros, which are these guys.

Yes! Like, legitimately worldwide great players.

Samu Manoa, one of the Eagles’ forwards, is considered one of the best players in the world at the number eight position. (All the other positions have names, number eight has a number. It’s weird.) He’s recently signed with Toulon, who won the French championship in 2014 and is the reigning winner of the European Rugby Champions Cup. The Eagles’ captain, Chris Wyles, plays a large role at wing for Saracens, which just won England’s Aviva Premiership.

Oh, it’s this guy, for sure:

“I’m literally in the blood and the mud, praying, ‘Dear Jesus, I’m in trouble,’ ” said Durant, recalling the incident last October that ended his rugby career.Once he was rushed to the emergency room, a resident took a peek at the bloody mess where his left eye was and fainted right on top of him.

You may remember Hayden Smith, the Australian-born rugby player who tried to make the NFL. He made the Jets roster in 2012, catching a single pass. But eventually the Jets cut him, and he returned to rugby, where he plays alongside Wyles for Saracens.

Since you’re probably wondering, this is a slightly different sport from the one Jarryd Hayne played in Australia. He played rugby league, a variant which is a bit more popular in Australia than the rest of the world.

There’s a bit of a dropoff.

As you might have noticed, rugby isn’t exactly ingrained in the roots of American society. It’s not offered at many high schools, or at a varsity level at many colleges. There is no professional league. Even attempts at forming a top-flight semi-pro/amateur league have failed. The Rugby Super League folded in 2012, and its successor the USA Rugby Elite Cup folded after its only season in 2013. There are now two top-level leagues, one on each coast, the American and Pacific Rugby Premierships.

Most of America’s best players are either foreign-born players who moved to America at some point in their lives or the children of immigrants from countries where rugby is more popular.

One of the Eagles’ top players, hooker Phil Thiel, explained to the Guardian the difficulties of being a top-flight American rugby player:

After the 2011 World Cup, finding himself “pretty much broke”, Thiel took an extended break from the game.

“I used to work for a small but really good software company called Somax who were very flexible with my travel,” he said. “But last year I was gone for nearly four months straight and it was just too much time away, so I had to step away.

“I’ve done consulting, construction, concrete, painting, handyman work, personal training, doorman work, and several other odd jobs while playing to pay the bills. It’s been an interesting ride, but always worth it.”

So when America takes the field against South Africa, it will be a team comprised entirely the world’s best professionals against a team of players who have to work outside jobs to make ends meet.

Yeah, but that’s a much different story.

The rugby in the Olympics is a seven-man variant on the traditional sport of rugby, which typically has 15 players per team. Team USA is much better adapted to succeed in this scaled-down version of rugby, for a few reasons.

For one, you need less players to be good. Rugby sevens is also a bit more free-flowing and places more of an emphasis on speed, which helps in the U.S. where the rugby infrastructure is less intensive. Remember Carlin Isles, the speedster who briefly tried out for the Detroit Lions? He’s on the USA sevens team, and he scores a lot.

But most importantly, now that rugby sevens is an Olympic sport, the USOC has put more funding towards it and signed key players to the team to dedicated contracts, so they can focus on being great at rugby. The USA sevens team has already qualified for the Rio games and has performed quite well on the international circuit: in May, they won their first-ever Sevens World Series event in London, beating South Africa, England, and Australia en route to a historic title. They could have an outside shot at a medal in Rio.

America’s games are on the Universal Sports Network -- all times listed here are Eastern:

Sunday, Sept. 20, 7 a.m.: USA vs. Samoa

Sunday, Sept. 27, 9:30 a.m.: USA vs. Scotland

Wednesday, Oct. 7, 11 a.m.: USA vs. South Africa

Sunday, Oct. 11, 3 p.m.: USA vs. Japan