Russell Wilson is apparently Googling random compliments to use on Ciara

On Thursday, Russell Wilson posted a nice note about the beauty of his lady love, Ciara, on Instagram. “I kissed her & she had honey sweet lips that were lilac soft,” Wilson wrote. “Not to mention her loving & affectionate personality...”

Also on Thursday, Billboard associate editor Natalie Weiner noticed that Wilson apparently lifted those very words of affection from a site with a list of possible compliments for a beautiful woman.

It seems Wilson has done this at least once before, in a recent post about how nice Ciara’s hair is (?). “Her hair plunged over her shoulders & it was midnight black,” he wrote.

HMMMM.

Let’s take a look at some more of this website’s compliments for the lovely ladies in our lives, shall we?

- “She was orphan-thin and her lips were ravishing.”

- “She had a chalice shaped waist and strawberry-red lips.”

- “She had trout pout lips. They were succulent, sultry and velvet soft.”

- “She had spider’s-leg eyelashes that fluttered over her grape shaped eyes.”

- “She had dewy, mist valley-green eyes. They were duck-pond round.”

- “She had gimcrack, seashell shaped ears and concave cheekbones.”

- “Her hair was Arc-of-Covenant gold and luxuriant.”

- “Tresses of russet-brown hair shrouded her Slavic face.”

All right, class, let’s try some of what we’ve learned in paragraphs! Here we go!

“When I came closer, I noticed her scrolled ears and her elegant nose. She nuzzled me with her nose and I couldn’t believe it. It was the custom for her people, I reckoned. It was love at first light. Her luminous, heavenly-white teeth flashed as she pawed at me with her film star nails. Her hair was a glorious tumble of star beam-gold and her virility-brown eyes set my heart a-thump. Her oxbow lips positively drooled with goodness. Oh!”

Hmm. Okay.

“Her hair was as emollient as eiderdown and was like a loom of molten-gold. It swooped past her ethereal neck, framing her Slavic face perfectly. She looked at me with her lemur-round eyes. They were seductive and rhapsody-blue. My heart nearly stopped when she gazed at me. Her eyes were like two plasma-blue gems slumbering in milky pools. They were a-smoulder with passion and had a hypnotic quality to them. They were gleaming with an unearthly quality above her concave cheekbones and they shone with the faraway look of a star gazer.”

Like what you see here? You can buy the author’s book.

Can’t wait to find the words to describe the lady in your life? We built a Russell Wilson compliment generator using the author’s rubric, so no one will ever doubt your esteem for sea-nymph ears again. Enjoy!

UPDATE: Russell Wilson eventually commented as the day went on -- to clarify that he in fact prefers to search for his Ciara compliments on Bing, not Google.

Bing, it just so happens, is a sponsor of the Seattle Seahawks. The #brand is strong with this one.