On Thursday, the NBA announced Sting would be the headline act for the 2016 All Star Game in Toronto, for reasons no one understands. In response, Dan Garland of Sports Illustrated uploaded a 47 minute highlight reel of NBA highlights set to Sting’s music, for reasons no one understands. In response to this response, I decided to watch all 47 minutes of this video, for reasons no one understands, including myself. Here is what I noticed:
If you ever lose your faith in the NBA, watch this 47-minute highlight reel set to Sting
- DeMar DeRozan’s highlights work better with Sting than I anticipated.
- Even though Sting isn’t from Canada, there’s something distinctly Canadian about this music. Toronto should dig it.
- Was the humor of this video worth the time it took to upload? I sure hope it was.
- I never realized how good Carmelo Anthony is at side-swipe blocks. I feel bad that I haven’t appreciated Carmelo’s career more than I have. Sting is really making me reconsider some life decisions right now.
- LeBron’s highlights have no place in a Sting song. I think we can all agree on this.
- Man, Russell Westbrook is probably just gonna dunk on Sting during the halftime show. What a monster.
- Listening to Sting while watching Kobe highlights is a great reminder that Father Time is undefeated.
- I still have to listen to 30 more minutes of this?
- I really doubt Hassan Whiteside has ever listened to Sting.
- Only Sting could make you stop and wonder “Should NBA games be played slower?”
- I’m 27 minutes in and I keep waiting for a something from The Police to come on, but it’s looking like “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” isn’t getting any closer.
- Aaaaaaand now I’m watching Kyrie Irving roast Washington set to Sting. I’d ask what I did to deserve this, but then I remember that I’m a Wizards fan and I understand that I deserve this punishment.
- Jimmy Butler has definitely danced to Sting at some point in his life. Nothing wrong with that.
- It just feels like Sting made this album specifically so it could be played at Medieval Fairs.
- If Draymond Green and Sting were trapped in a room together for an hour they’d have nothing to talk about. They’d talk about the weather for a minute and then they’d just stand there and stare at each other the rest of the hour.
- Ugh. More Carmelo highlights. I’m getting emotional again. Maybe Sting isn’t the guy most people would expect to sing at the NBA All-Star Game, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. Actually, it probably is, but who cares.
