A sonnet and two haiku about Rex Ryan driving away in his Bills-themed truck

Welcome to poetry night at SB Nation. Thank you for coming. Please take your shoes off and leave them in the tray by the door — you know how winter is, all that salt gets dragged into the library if you aren’t proactive! Also, whoever keeps recording these readings, dubbing them over with Tupac lyrics, and leaking them online: Please stop. It’s disrespectful.

Anyway, tonight’s program was inspired by this tragic short film, called Rex Ryan Drives Away. Here it is, for context:

Rex Ryan drives away: A sonnet
By Charlotte Wilder

His chariot roared to life, the wheels did turn.
Like a lumbering beast after it wakes from a nap,
The truck advanced, but no rubber did burn.
A defeated exit, this was — no tip of the cap.

Poor Rex, you see, his ego’s been squashed,
power diminished, tail tucked ‘tween his legs.
“Oh, how could they!” he wailed, “I’m washed!”
Even his travel mug’s empty, save for the dregs.

There will be no trophy, no, all he has left
Is that god-awful truck, its colors now moot.
You would probably think he must be bereft,
Since it totally sucks to be given the boot.

But don’t worry ‘bout Rex, or even ‘bout Rob,
this is the NFL — average guys always get jobs.

Two Haiku about Rex Ryan
By Mark Hinog

1.

I’d like Rex Ryan
To replace his poor Bills truck
With the tandem bike

2.

Rex Ryan’s fired
Riding off into sunsets
With his twin bro Rob

Thank you for supporting the arts.