The NBA free agent signings teams would make if they’re honest with themselves

With NBA free agency right around the corner, we decided to treat the teams in the most interesting situations like college-bound teenagers. Just as a half-dozen teams will make their best cases for themselves while wooing Kevin Durant, thousands of high school kids craft impeccable pitches for Ivy League schools. But it’s not prudent to put all of your eggs in the Durant/Princeton basket.

So, just as ambitious students devise lists of reaches, matches and safeties, we’ve done the task for a handful of NBA teams. Enjoy.

REACH: Like Harvard or Stanford, Kevin Durant is a reach for everybody, including those with a perfect pitch. The Warriors can offer Durant his best shot at a title, California lifestyle, potential Silicon Valley in-roads of the Bay Area and a stack of money. No one but Oklahoma City can offer a better pitch to Durant, and OKC’s offer is almost entirely dependent on familiarity and comfort.

MATCH: It all comes back to Harrison Barnes. He’s pretty good! The Warriors won an NBA championship with him, and followed that up with a 73-9 season. He’s a part of perhaps the most effective five-man unit ever assembled. If Golden State strikes out on Durant, Barnes is the perfect second option. I refuse to call him a safety: he’s too good for that. Give Harrison Barnes some respect! The other match is Nicolas Batum, though he’ll likely be even more expensive than Barnes.

SAFETY: What if Durant says no and Barnes is out the door, either due to timing problems or because someone gives him a contract the Warriors won’t match? Bring Kent Bazemore back to the Bay. Bazemore’s much smaller than Barnes and isn’t going to be nearly as effective as a power forward option. But Andre Iguodala can fill that role (he often does defensively anyway) and Bazemore can slot in behind him.

REACH: Miami is also in the club pulling a reach for Durant. Will KD follow in LeBron James’ footsteps this closely? Isn’t this a little too on the nose? Perhaps, but the allure of the Miami Heat is great for young millionaires seeking glory. Another Miami reach might be Hassan Whiteside given the particular financial issues with signing him without Bird rights. Whiteside said over the weekend he wants to wrap up his free agency on July 1 -- Miami won’t have an answer from Durant by then.

MATCH: Hello, Dwight Howard! Should Whiteside bail, as it is increasingly apparent he might, Howard is a very good consolation prize for a team interested in winning now. Howard won’t be asked to do much on offense, and while that has often grated on him, being surrounded by Dwyane Wade and Goran Dragic might ease the anti-burden. Plus, Pat Riley, Alonzo Mourning and perhaps Chris Bosh will be able to show Howard the way. Structure, South Florida + success? This is a match alright!

SAFETY: Chandler Parsons has been tied to Orlando more than Miami, but he makes sense from a roster standpoint in both places. The pitch to Parsons is simple: it’s Miami after all. Parsons, who is a Florida native and went to college in Gainesville, knows what playing for the Miami Heat would entail. The Heat would prefer to do better, but as long as another team doesn’t scoop Parsons up quickly, he should be attainable for Miami.

REACH: [avoids the joke about how every top-50 free agent is a reach for the Lakers] But for real, the Lakers are a reach to even get meetings with Kevin Durant and DeMar DeRozan at this point.

MATCH: Hassan Whiteside actually seems like a high match for the Lakers due to a) his interest in cashing out, b) the Lakers’ interest in landing a top free agent and c) the chaos of everything. Whiteside said he wants to wrap this up quick and the Lakers can commit money without having to worry about whether his incumbent team will match. That distinguishes Whiteside from another potential match at the need position of center, Festus Ezeli, whose fate relies on Golden State’s cooperation.

SAFETY: Hey, Jordan Hill was pretty good during his Lakers tenure. And hey, how about Dion Waiters? All jokes aside, Jordan Clarkson is almost definitely coming back.

REACH: Let’s call Hassan Whiteside a low reach for the Mavericks, mostly because I trust Dallas to be a bit more measured in throwing money at him compared to L.A.

MATCH: I think this would be a really good landing spot for Harrison Barnes, especially if the Warriors do nab Durant. Barnes would have a bigger opportunity to score than in Golden State, but still wouldn’t be asked to do everything. He’s not quite the star Dallas needs in Dirk Nowitzki’s twilight, but he’s solid and young. (Note that I don’t have Chandler Parsons as a match. I think he’s gone given the early noise out of Dallas.) Dwight Howard is a potential match, too, for the same reasons he’s a match in Miami.

SAFETY: Joakim Noah isn’t young or particularly exciting anymore, but he fills a need at center and could very well help Dallas hang on to yet another low playoff seed. How’s E’Twauan Moore sound to y’all? Or Jeremy Lin?

REACH: It’s pretty impressive that Boston even got a meeting with Kevin Durant, though there’s such a low chance he actually signs with the Celtics. I don’t know that the Celtics are even chasing him, but let’s go ahead and call Mike Conley a reach, too. I can see Conley leaving Memphis, but not for a weird team with a thousand guards.

MATCH: I think Al Horford is the right star to put Boston over the top. They could use scoring help more than additional defense, but Horford is a good shooter and a really nice passer. He could help relieve pressure off Isaiah Thomas and, more importantly, prove to potential trade targets that the Celtics are in the business of competing for a title. I love Al Horford on the Celtics.

SAFETY: You can tell Boston is in good shape because the safeties are Amir Johnson and Evan Turner, two of the Celtics’ own free agents. Joakim Noah could also be a safety if Horford or another big man doesn’t come through. Boston College’s own Jared Dudley could also be a good fit here.

REACH: Oof, Kevin Durant isn’t even a reach. That hurts. The good news is that everyone else Washington should want is somewhat attainable. I’ll make one exception: Bradley Beal is a low reach to me because I don’t think the two sides will easily agree on a number. If no other team is bold enough to extend a max offer sheet, this could drag on a while.

MATCH: Al Horford is a high match with the Wizards. Washington has poor luck with 30-year-old big men with odd injury histories, but Horford’s defense, shooting and passing are just what the Wizards need up front. Dwight Howard is another high match here. I like him much more in Miami because of the structure, but pairing up with John Wall could be a godsend. Kent Bazemore looks like a potential fit at the wing position.

SAFETY: Joakim Noah, Amir Johnson and Ian Mahinmi could add frontcourt depth if other options fall through. At small forward, Evan Turner or, dare I say, D.C.‘s own Jeff Green could be strong backup plans.

REACH: The Pelicans drafted Buddy Hield, so Bradley Beal becomes a reach in multiple ways: the odds New Orleans will want to invest a hundred million dollars in an injury-prone two-guard after the Eric Gordon experience are lower and lower every day. But damn does Anthony Davis need some shooters like Beal. Hopefully Hield can provide that. New Orleans also needs wing talent, so we’ll list Chandler Parsons and Harrison Barnes as reaches, the former because Florida beckons and the latter because restricted status makes it difficult. Nicolas Batum will likewise have better options out there.

MATCH: I kind of love the idea of Marvin Williams landing with the Pelicans. New Orleans needs quantity this summer, and Williams fills a couple of holes. I’m deeply concerned his 40-percent clip from long-range was a fluke, but a team like the Pels has to roll the dice a little. I’m also wary of GM Dell Demps, so I have some concern New Orleans is a candidate for the massive Evan Turner contract offer.

SAFETY: Jared Dudley, Jeff Green and Jeremy Lin feel like get-able options for the Pelicans who, again, have 1,000 holes to fill.

REACH: The Blazers have so much potential to be fun this summer. They need defense and size, so Al Horford is the perfect fit (albeit a tad old for the career arcs of Portland’s stars). Why is Horford a reach? He’s from the Dominican Republic, went to college in Florida and has spent his entire pro career in Atlanta. Portland might as well be a different world entirely. There’s a sales job to make.

MATCH: I tend to think Portland will be more active in the trade market than free agency (and frankly, I’m surprised there wasn’t more buzz about the Blazers in the Serge Ibaka talks). But Joakim Noah at the right price could really help Portland, assuming health. Likewise, I’d be intrigued to see Bismack Biyombo in the Pacific Northwest.

SAFETY: Allen Crabbe, a restricted free agent, is the best safety ever.

REACH: Every point guard in existence, apparently.

MATCH: DION WAITERS, dangit. Dion Waiters!

SAFETY: You know, Lance Stephenson is a free agent ...