The Kobe Bryant and LeBron James puppets returned for Kobe’s jersey retirement ceremony

Remember those Nike commercials with the Kobe Bryant and LeBron James puppets? Those were so cool, right?

Well, they were back for the first time since 2009 in honor of Kobe Bryant’s jersey retirement ceremony.

Puppet Bryant gets one final chance to gloat about his legacy as a Laker as he used to when the videos first began in 2009. Nike dropped three videos and they’re all pretty funny. And it looks like Kobe is feeling them, too!

Let’s go through the highlights.

Having two jerseys retired is, apparently, an incredible burden. One that Puppet Kobe is putting on his back for the great players of the past and future.

“You should be grateful that you’re not retiring two jerseys like myself. Imagine the weight of having two jerseys that inspired the nation, LeBron. No — the world,” Bryant said.

Puppet LeBron doesn’t even know what to say.

By the end of this one, Bryant is making a Black Mamba noise that was so incredible that I can’t even type it out. And trust me — I want to type it out. Very badly.

I wonder if this is how Bryant really is?

First of all, who is Uncle Charlie? Puppet Kobe explains — sort of.

“Imagine it, LeBron. A small child gazing up into the rafters asking ‘Uncle Charlie, which Kobe was better? Number eight or Number 24?” Bryant said.

“I have to be in Milwaukee by tomorrow,” James said.

He’s just trying to get out of there.

By the end of the commercial, Puppet Kobe doesn’t even know what he’s talking about.

“Who is Uncle Charlie?” Bryant said.

“You brought him up,” James reminded him.

I’m crying.

Apparently, jerseys can dream. And Kobe’s dreamed of retirement. Right off the bat, this commercial will have you dying.

“LeBron, jerseys dream of retirement,” Bryant said.

“Your jerseys dream now?” James responded.

“A special time, where my jerseys can look back and reflect on all they’ve accomplished in their careers as my jerseys,” Bryant said.

“Kobe, I gotta go,” James said before Bryant continued to ramble on.

Puppet LeBron has had enough.

What do Bryant’s jerseys dream of? Handicrafts, apparently. And other hobbies outside of basketball including Bryant’s business interests.

Honestly, how much different would this conversation go in real life? Not very, I’m guessing.

Man, these were awesome. Probably not as good as some of the OG videos, but these were still pretty fun and a great throwback from Nike.

Still, though, this only serves as a reminder for us that we never got the Kobe vs. LeBron NBA Finals we all thought we’d get at some point. We thought it was inevitable that they’d play at some point.

It’s so nice to see these puppets again, though. Nostalgia is great. But it’s also another reminder that we’re all just getting old.

Somebody grab me a walker.