Intrepid Cubs reporter Sahadev Sharma recently shared this picture of intrepid Cubs strength and conditioning coach Tim Buss, and there are unanswered questions.
3 questions about the Cubs coach who is dressed as a Juggalo lawyer
These are not hard questions, but we deserve to know the truth
1. If this is a prank, what is the rest of the story?
Last year, the Cubs duct-taped Buss to a chair and rolled him onto the field while they warmed up. Chihuahuas and scorpions were involved, but the trail got cold after that.
Nine years ago, several Cubs players ruined Buss’ car, only to surprise him with a new one.
The odds are strong that this is a prank. But if so, what is the other part of the story? Were his real clothes burned while he took a shower? Was his entire wardrobe stolen in the middle of the night and donated, with dozens of similar outfits left in its place?
It’s not enough to just give a guy a funny hat, some chains, and a cane. There has to be motivation.
2. Did someone have to order the jester-skull cane from Amazon and have it shipped?
It looks like it. They could order with confidence because 85 people took the time to let the world know that the cane fit as expected.
Although, it’s possible that one of the players had the cane lying around from a previous Halloween costume. From SpiritHalloween.com:
Clown around with the forces of evil this Halloween with this Evil Jester Skull Cane. Make your friends laugh or rend their hair with this Black/White/Red PVC costume accessory, which comes packaged in Clamshell. The perfect angry rod for the aspiring lunatic in a Wicked Jester Boys Costume.
I googled “Wicked Jester Boys” to make sure it wasn’t a TV show or movie reference. It was not. Only Halloween costumes came up. I don’t know why it was capitalized. But now that we know such a thing exists, we’ve found the perfect angry rod for it.
3. Why let him wear the traditional uniform pants and shoes?
You’ve procured a jester cane. You have a funny hat. You’ve arranged for the gold chains.
Why stop there? Funny pants shouldn’t be that hard to find
OK, maybe try a different site.
There we go. If you’re going to make a funny man wear funny clothes, there should be funny pants. Someone forgot the funny pants.
Why?
We have reached out to Cubs general manager Jed Hoyer for comment via a Twitter direct message, and we will report any new findings.
