In honor of the Puppy Bowl, a reminder that dogs are better than cats

Earlier this week, my colleague Zito Madu made the argument that cats are better than dogs.

I audibly gasped when I read the headline, but that shock quickly turned toward anger fueled by a fierce loyalty.

We are not worthy of dogs. We really aren’t! Zito seems to make the argument that unconditional love, happiness, and forgiveness are somehow signs of a lesser intelligence level. I can’t stress how off-base that is.

The human race will forever be indebted to puppers and their companionship. The least I could do was stick up for my friends on the internet.

Here are just a few of the reasons dogs will forever be > cats.

1. They get so excited when you come home! Like this dog, that literally passed out from the sheer, overwhelming joy:

2. And super, heart-wrenchingly sad when you leave:

3. They want to cuddle ALL THE TIME. Unlike cats, which will at best consider cuddling and at worst slice you with one of their claws when you try to pull them in close.

Did you know that cats show their love by staring and blinking?

A cat eye blink, often referred to as kitty kiss, is a common cat behavior. The cat’s eyes communicate information depending on how open the eyelids are, as well as what the eyes do. Cats’ eyes demonstrate strong emotion, easily recognizable by other cats.

If you are trying to make friends with a strange cat outdoors, it would be a huge mistake to stare at him, as you will either intimidate him into leaving, or even worse, bring out his aggressive nature.

Nothing says warm and fuzzies like prolonged staring that could be misconstrued as a lethal threat.

4. When my dog gets excited in the mornings and wants to wake me up, he smothers me in a million kisses until I’m laughing so hard that I’m not even mad anymore.

Cats, on the other hand...

5. Dogs don’t just care about you when you’re hurt, they go above and beyond. JUST LOOK AT THESE GOOD DOGS FOLLOWING THEIR OWNER ALL THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL:

And this miniature schnauzer that got caught on security footage BREAKING INTO A HOSPITAL TO FIND HER OWNER!

Like a boss.

6. There’s also this good hero dog that actually jumped onto subway tracks to protect his blind owner:

He even got a medal!

When is the last time you saw a viral video of a cat saving its owner’s life? Never. That’s my answer. In fact...

Sleep with one eye open, Zito. That’s all I’m sayin’.

7. And finally, dogs possess an innocent and unwavering happiness that reminds us to appreciate the little things in life — like my pupper experiencing snow for the first time:

Case closed.