MLB trade rumor grades: Sonny Gray to the Astros?

’Tis the season for trade deadline rumors. They’re flying around like June bugs, they are, and you keep swatting at them, but they keep coming. You need to figure out which ones are just June bugs and which ones are secretly chocolate June bugs that are covered in foil, edible, and delicious. We’re here to help you by grading ...

Let me start over. Webster’s defines “rumor” as ...

Whatever, forget the introduction. We’re here to grade trade rumors. This one is about Sonny Gray and the Houston Astros. Jon Morosi says things are “heating up.” Which, whoa, maybe I’ll turn off this MLB Network broadcast and switch to Cinemax for the updates.

Prospects, certainly. But, also, peace of mind. This has been a mess for them.

The A’s philosophy hearkens back to the old Branch Rickey quote, which is roughly “Better to trade a player a year too early than a year too late.” Trading their best players with years of team control is how they got Dan Haren for Mark Mulder, and it’s how they got Carlos Gonzalez and Brett Anderson for Haren.

Then they traded Anderson for Drew Pomeranz, whom they traded for Yonder Alonso, who will bring back a prospect or three this deadline. This trade chain will live forever, and the point is that it’s an organizational philosophy to look the future, cheap seasons of a good player as something that enhances the value for another team, not the A’s.

They almost screwed that up with Gray, who looked entirely broken last season. His velocity was down, his homers allowed went through the roof, and he looked like ... well ...

The A’s original plan was probably to trade him last offseason, and then baseball took their wallet. All they could do is wait and wait and wait for him to get better.

He got better. While he’s not the burgeoning Cy Young contender he once was, not yet, he’s still a well above-average pitcher who won’t be a free agent until after the 2019 season. He’ll be cheap until then, too. Teams are lining up the prospects again, and a Jose Quintana comp for a possible return isn’t too far-fetched.

Gray will be expensive. The A’s are counting on it. And they’re feeling lucky that they’re back to where they started.

The Astros are something of a superbeast, and it’s hard to explain just how terrifying they are. They have a super-young core that rivals any in baseball. They’re conservative with their money, at least for now (18th in overall payroll), but they play in one of the biggest markets in baseball. They have a divine farm system, even after making all sorts of trades to their roster.

Adding a low-cost, under-contract pitcher would allow them to use even more of those assets. Gray would allow them to spend more on the free-agent market. He would allow them to deal some of their pitching prospects. And, most importantly, he would make them better in 2017, even though they’re pretty freaking good already.

In the postseason, with a lineup that will melt your face off, the Astros would be able to send out ...

... with Brad Peacock as something of an old-school fireman whom they don’t even need, considering the relative depth of their bullpen.

While magically adding Gray would make most teams better, the obvious concern is what the Astros would have to give up. It wouldn’t be cheap, so they would have to really, really believe in him. Kyle Tucker? Derek Fisher? Forrest Whitley? Someone from the major league roster? Astros fans would be right to be nervous, especially since this is a trade that won’t necessarily affect the 2017 regular season.

The rumor gets an A- because it makes too much sense. No team has the obvious rotation need that the Astros do (for their postseason plans, at least), and no team has the prospects to mix and match with whatever the A’s are demanding. Also, when comparing the Astros with, say, the Dodgers, few teams have been more willing to exchange prospects for major leaguers in recent years.

I would just kick back and wait for this sucker to happen, really.

[Mystery Team breaks pane on patio door, undoes latch]

what was that did you hear that