Let’s be very, very clear. It takes a jerk to do this. It takes an absolute wrestling heel, someone caught up in his own mythology of being a villain. Joey Votto is all of those things.
Joey Votto threw a baseball out of Wrigley Field because he is a jerk, hero
You either die a villain, or you live long enough to see yourself become the hero.
Instead of giving it to a little kid and letting him gaze upon the leather-and-cork orb in wonder so he or she can finally feel like the lucky one, the kid who can catch a break, Votto threw the baseball out of the ballpark. Who does that? How important is that villainous mythology to maintain, when it’s children who are being hurt?
On the other hand: lolololololololololololol look at that baseball fly. And, really, do you know what’s going to happen to that kid who didn’t get the ball? He or she will become an adult. Adults are the worst.
Some adults even grow up to act like Votto. That is, they’re very, very funny.
So I’m caught between two worlds, but at least it’s funny here. Joey Votto threw a baseball out of Wrigley Field so a kid couldn’t get it, and the only thing that could make this story better is if a kid who couldn’t afford a baseball was hanging around Wrigley Field, saw the ball while walking by, and said, “Hey, free baseball.”
Edit: Hearing whispers that Votto didn’t zing it out of the ballpark, and that it landed in the second deck. That’s still amusing. But I’m choosing not to believe it. Carry on.
