The Bengals realize they’re terrible, and there’s not a damn thing they can do about it

Two games into the season — both at home — and the Bengals still haven’t scored a touchdown. They’re the first team to “achieve” that feat since the Bears ... in 1939. Good job, guys!

Bengals cornerback Dre Kirkpatrick gave the most honest assessment of the team — “We suck.”

For all their faults as a team, at least Bengals players were pretty honest about who they are after losing one of the ugliest Thursday Night Football games we’ve ever seen:

Maybe. Cincinnati held another awful team to 266 yards, TOTAL yards. The Texans didn’t even top 100 yards passing. The Bengals prevented the Texans from converting their only red-zone opportunity and had them 0-1 on goal-to-go. Houston only converted four of 15 third downs.

Of course, the Bengals offense was even worse:

The Bengals were 0-for-3 in the red zone and were also 4-for-15 on third downs.

Sure, execution is a problem, but let’s not overlook more obvious issues. The offensive line is terrible. It’s clear just how much it misses left tackle Andrew Whitworth. The offensive scheme made things worse.

J.J. Watt had six pressures on Andy Dalton, and despite the fact that it was, you know, J.J. Watt coming after the quarterback, there were times where the Bengals made the decision not to double him or leave a tight end on him. Some plays, they didn’t even seem all that concerned with blocking him.

At least Andy Dalton didn’t throw any picks! But he was still horrible!

A.J. Green, one of the team’s only good offensive players, commented after the game how Dalton couldn’t get him the ball. His solution to the Bengals’ offensive problems was to “... find a way to get our playmakers the ball.”

Getting the ball to Green makes all the sense in the world. That’s basically what the Bengals did in the past. Losing OC Hue Jackson to the Browns coaching job two years ago has made the offense worse. The team’s made it worse by allowing a talent drain in the last two years.

Head coach Marvin Lewis said after the game that Dalton’s job was safe. He had to reassure the press of this after two games. Think about that. There’s really no point replacing Dalton anyway: AJ McCarron is, at best, a push talent-wise and there’s not much any QB could do with this sorry excuse for an offensive line.

As for Lewis himself, he’s slouching toward Jeff Fisher-status. It was a terrible night for coaching all around. Bill O’Brien of the Texans looked overmatched on most plays, but Lewis lapped him in haplessness with these last two outings from his team.

Before the season started, consensus awarded the Jets the dubious honor of the NFL’s worst team. We might have to rethink that. The Bengals look like they have something to say about it.

Bonus aside: There are more bad teams in the NFL this year than there are good teams. What’s that tell you about the state of the league?

Uh, sorry guys. I think you lost to the SECOND worst team in the league.