Which NFL player would you rescue at the trade deadline?

The NFL trade deadline is fast approaching, and for some veterans a late-minute deal could be the only thing that saves their 2018. We’ve already seen players like Amari Cooper and Damon Harrison escape sinking franchises this October, shipped to the seaworthy battleships of teams with realistic postseason hopes. If this year’s busy run-up is any indication, a handful more will trade the burden of living out of a suitcase for a few months for a shot at a Super Bowl ring before the month is through.

Hopefully, that will save some worthy veterans from the December and early January locker rooms that have all the hope and camaraderie of an airport Chili’s. Plenty of useful players are saddled with teams who either unwilling or unable to make the most of their talents, and Tuesday’s deadline may mark their last chance at escape until the offseason.

So let’s say you’re the NFL’s commissioner. Or rather, something better — an all-powerful gridiron deity who can force trades between teams as though you’re building a roster in Madden ‘99. Who would you rescue? And where would you send him?

My typical response to this question would be to unite Larry Fitzgerald with the head coach who loves him unlike any other — Bill Belichick. But as much as I’d like to blame Fitz’s 2018 struggles on the Sam Bradford/Josh Rosen Nickelback/Maroon 5 mashup the Cardinals have at quarterback, the 11-time Pro Bowler is also 35 years old and seems pretty content to play out his string in Arizona.

So let’s move on to a new dynamic wide receiver and a new needy team. Hilton is a jackpot-hitting deep threat who’s currently playing with a quarterback whose surgically repaired shoulder has him throwing more short passes than ever before. Andrew Luck is averaging 7 yards per target in 2018, down from 8.9 in 2016 — the same year Hilton led the league with 1,448 receiving yards.

As a result, Hilton’s on pace for his second straight sub-1,000 yard season. So why not send him to a contender with an uneven receiving corps and a quarterback aching to launch the ball downfield: the Panthers?

Carolina is 4-2, but a group of wideouts led by Devin Funchess and rookie D.J. Moore could stand an upgrade. Adding Hilton would give Cam Newton the deep threat he’s been waiting on since 2016. Newton led the league at 11 yards per target two years ago with then-rookie Funchess and the eternally dangerous Ted Ginn. But he also struggled to a career-low 52.9 percent completion rate due to a lack of viable targets downfield.

Swapping out Ginn for Hilton and pairing him with an experienced Funchess would solve that problem — and it would make Newton’s passing offense one of the league’s most dangerous.

Would the Colts, a team in desperate need of talent, move Hilton — a player with an established rapport with the franchise quarterback around whom the club’s fortunes are built? Probably not! But Indianapolis is rebuilding again in 2018, and Hilton’s due $27.5 million in cash the next two seasons. Moving him could help clear the decks and bring back a healthy return of draft assets general manager Chris Ballard could spin into his next generation of young stars.

It’s pretty unlikely, but it could work out for the Colts, the Panthers, Hilton, and Newton.

The Cardinals have made it clear they don’t want to trade their star cornerback, and Peterson sounds resigned to the fact that he’s not leaving Arizona. But hey, this is my fantasy rescue and I’d love to see him on a team that’s contending.

There are many awesome things about having Patrick Mahomes on the Chiefs, but an underrated aspect of it is that his rookie contract gives Kansas City the luxury to aggressively hunt for more help. The Chiefs don’t have a ton of cap space in 2018, but they have enough to fit in Peterson, and plenty in 2019 and beyond.

They also have a little extra draft capital after getting a second-round pick from the Rams for cornerback Marcus Peters.

If there’s an Achilles heel for Kansas City, it’s their defense which has been sketchy in the first half of the season. It appears to be improving as more young players like Breeland Speaks and Dorian O’Daniel are getting involved, and it could continue to get better if Justin Houston and Eric Berry come back in top form.

But imagine inserting an elite cornerback like Peterson into a secondary that’s forced into a shootout every week.

Unfortunately, Peterson’s being held hostage with the Cardinals so it looks unlikely. But if any team should push it’s chips to the middle of the table with a big trade for defensive help, it’s the Chiefs.

San Francisco has been adamant about Sherman being in its long-term plans, and for that reason it’s unlikely he will be traded. Sherman said that no team has contacted his agent, which is Sherman himself, about a potential trade.

But as noted above, Mahomes is balling out while the defense, especially the secondary, has done little to help him. The Chiefs have some cap space, and Sherman’s contract with the 49ers is fairly team-friendly.

Despite dealing with a calf injury, Sherman has not disappointed at all on the field with the 49ers. Still, it is easy to feel bad that he joined a team on the rise, only to have that team decimated by injuries.

Opponents are avoiding Sherman’s side of the field, due in part to the fact that he looks sharp and fast, but also because the 49ers have awful cornerbacks aside from Sherman. The high probability that the 49ers will draft more corners this coming offseason is another reason Sherman probably won’t be traded (he’s too valuable a resource for a young corner). But he probably wouldn’t complain about going from a one-win team to a Super Bowl contender, if given the opportunity.

Parker’s career has been hampered by a variety of injuries: hamstring, ankle, finger, foot, back. The latest for the 2015 first-round pick was a quad injury that has caused him to miss time this season — much to the displeasure of his agent, who railed against Dolphins coach Adam Gase for not playing Parker in Week 7:

While Parker was adamant that he didn’t feel that way about Gase, it took injuries to fellow receivers Albert Wilson and Kenny Stills for Parker to get back in the lineup.

That’s what happened in Week 8, when he put together a career game against the Texans. He caught six passes for personal-best 134 receiving yards, and those numbers should have been higher — and included a touchdown — if someone other than Brock Osweiler had been throwing him the ball:

Meanwhile, the Bengals are spiraling after a red (rifle)-hot start to the season. Once 4-1, they’re now riding a two-game losing streak due in part to their entire offense basically being A.J. Green.

Speedy deep threat John Ross is once again injured. So is tight end Tyler Eifert. Tyler Boyd has been up and down. The third-year receiver put together three straight 90+ yard games, but has failed to match that production since after getting the double-team treatment like Green has his entire career.

So for the sake of Green, Andy Dalton, the Bengals offense, and Parker himself, let’s bring Parker home to the Ohio River. But this time, instead of Louisville, he can be on the other side, in Cincinnati.

And if not to the Bengals, just please, get Parker on literally any other team than the Dolphins.