Your guide to a successful road trip during the holiday season

This holiday season, millions of people will be traveling to see family members for annual gatherings. A lot of that travel will be by air, but there will also be those who take on the open road to arrive at their holiday destinations.

I’ve taken my fair share of road trips throughout the years. The drives have started from Atlanta and taken me to Nashville, Tampa, Evansville, Indianapolis, and even Los Angeles. I’ve done it in all kinds of weather, and at every hour of the day.

Let me tell you, these long road endeavors aren’t for everybody. You aren’t just going from point A to point B in 10 or 15 minutes. This is a trek that takes energy, focus, and patience. But it’s one that can be good fun, or even relaxing if you take the right measures.

Here’s how you can get everything you want out of a road trip, while also making sure you arrive at your destination in a safe and timely manner.

Change your oil and rotate/inflate your tires as needed. I’m not going to beat this one to death because you’ve heard it for years from your parents. Also, take care of any other lingering issues you may have been putting off so your entire trip doesn’t get killed.

Clean out your car. Even if it’s not a devastating mess now, you’d be surprised what a stop or two on the road will do to your in-car environment. That cup and leftover fast food bag that was already around is quickly joined by trash from whatever breakfast, lunch, or dinner stops you make along the way.

Go drop 50 cents or whatever the cost is at your local gas station, and vacuum the whole thing out. If you want to go for a good cleanse, wipe everything down in your car, including the seats. If you’d like somebody else to do the work for you, take it to one of those good car washes that will get it fresh from inside to out.

No matter the size of your car, it’s a relatively small space. Give yourself as much breathing room as possible. It might not seem like a big deal day-to-day, but when you’re in the car for hours on end, you’ll feel the mess eventually. That is even more true when there’s multiple passengers in the car.

Perhaps most important: have a loose plan of when you will leave. It’s always going to vary by destination. If, for instance, you’ll be stopping in multiple larger metropolitan areas, try to plan around as many rush hours as you can. You may not be able to get around them all, but you can get close with a little bit of effort.

Also, take weather into account. Whether that’s severe weather, or a hefty snowstorm, you don’t want to get caught in the middle of nowhere in bad weather. Try to leave before or after it’s passed.

Last but not least: LEAVE WITH A FULL TANK OF GAS. There’s no reason you should be stopping within the first four-or-so hours of a trip for gas.

If you’re going to be the pace car, you have to be consistent. The pace car leads a convoy in the left lane, and if you’re doing it right, goes anywhere between 10 and 20 miles over the speed limit. If you have a few cars following closely behind you, you all are fine to think that state troopers won’t bother you guys. (I’m honestly not sure how true that is. But it sounds good, right?)

Being the pace car is an important role. The handful of travelers that will be following your lead are going to become your friends. That white Honda Accord? The black GMC Sierra truck? The cobalt Acura TLX and the old, gold Lexus LS? They’re all homies now.

Space between your car and everybody else’s is important. This isn’t one that everybody follows, and can be tricky. If you’re behind a pace car, you want to keep a distance that’s close enough to where you’re following, but also far enough where you can’t stick your arm out of the window and draw a penis on their car.

Plus, you gotta keep your new friends happy. You’re going to be sticking around them for quite some time. Space is important in any relationship, including this one.

TIP: If somebody is riding your ass (with you going well over the limit) and you aren’t comfortable with it, spray your wiper cleaner. It will get on their windshield, and they’ll back off to prevent further collateral damage.

The first time I did this was in 2011 on 24-W and the gentleman (lol) behind me was quite upset in his Nissan hatchback, but also out of my way. I hope you’re reading this, pleighboi.

Stay out of people’s blind spots. It’s good for you, it’s good for them, it’s good for everybody. If you accelerate into somebody’s blind spot and stay there, you’re making it clear that you aren’t concerned about their wellbeing, or yours. Don’t do that.

If you need to, fall back in line. Nobody’s making you be the pace car, and most people prefer not to be. But you never know who you will encounter on the road. Go at your pace, and do what’s going to make you the most comfortable. Your new friends will understand.

Look out for truck drivers. If you play by the above rules, truck drivers won’t be as much of a pain to you as you might think. If they need to get over, you should probably just let them over, unless it’s clearly going to hinder your progress. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

The amount of time you’ll actually lose by not being a jerk and letting a truck driver get over is little to none. That time is lost for bathroom breaks, food stops, etc.

TIP: Truck drivers know that they’re putting drivers in a “compromised” position by getting over in any of the lanes that aren’t the far right. If you let them over, and they get back to the right ASAP while blinking their hazards. That’s their way of thanking you.

It’s the holiday season. Be kind to each other.

Personally, these are my favorite. You don’t have to take into account the needs of anybody but yourself — it’s just you and the open road. However, we should still try to ensure an enjoyable ride.

Keep your mind going. There’s any number of ways to do this. A lot of folks will opt to download a bunch of podcast episodes, or maybe an audiobook. That’s fine, and not something I’ve personally done.

I usually like to take this opportunity to listen to a new album, or the greatest hits of an artist I’ve never really listened to. It’s an opportune time to expand the horizons. Wiz Khalifa’s “Kush & Orange Juice” just got added to all streaming platforms, and is one of many albums I’ve listened to for the first time on the way up to Evansville, Indiana.

Or, clear your mind. There’s no better time for reflection or brainstorming than on a long drive.

Having an in-car concert is never a bad option. The song variation always depends. Usually you can’t go wrong with songs that have some kind of yelling, or some great ad-libs.

It’s a great time to try and master Busta Rhymes’ verse in “Look At Me Now,” nail all the different pitches of “oh” in Lenny Williams’ “Cause I Love You,” or just get in a good mood with Tupac’s “How Do U Want It.”

All of the above is also beneficial in keeping you alert, in case you are driving at an early or late hour. If those fail, pull over at one of the rest stops, or a gas station if necessary, and drop some coin on an energy drink.

Arguably the biggest advantage in driving solo: make stops as you please. Gotta take a leak? Go for it, pull over. Bubble guts hittin’? Make a quick detour and lay out that throne.

First thing is first, and that’s the POSSESSION OF THE AUX CORD AND AC. People have varying views on this, which is fine. I am going to advise that the chain of command for both of these starts with the driver, then goes to the front passenger, and then to people in the back.

It’s not safe to drive with headphones in, so the driver gets dibs. Everybody else can figure out what to do from there.

Air conditioning also should defer to the driver, because the person in control of the vehicle should also be able to be as comfortable as they see fit.

Now, onto roles.

The front passenger is second-in-command. As the front passenger, you have the most responsibilities of all passengers. You’re the first line of help for navigation and grabbing things from the back for the driver. Never should the driver have to reach for their own food, though if the front passenger wants to take the occasional nap that’s fine.

If you’re sitting in the back seat, you can sleep, but aid the driver and front passenger. These are the distributors of snacks, drinks, and any other needs the driver and front passenger may have. Push that product, y’all.

Share the wheel. This is one that I’ve been guilty of not being good at, just because I don’t mind driving. But it’s fine to pass off the wheel and catch a nap or just chill.

I once drove nonstop from Dallas to Los Angeles without giving up the wheel after driving all but two hours from Atlanta to Dallas. Can I honestly say that I did that? Yes. Was it worth it? I’m honestly not sure.

If you have children, find ways to keep them entertained. Never has this been an easier task. Whether it’s with toys, or a movie/show with headphones in, there’s a lot of Are We There Yets to be avoided.

Limit consumption of fluids by the kids. Their bladders are smaller, so keep tabs on whether or not they’re thirsty, or drinking just to drink.

If you follow these guidelines, your road trip should be smooth sailing. Take your time, enjoy the ride, and get to your destination safely.