The Super Bowl kickers keep missing field goals

Welcome to Gramatica Errors, SB Nation’s weekly kicking and punting column. As always, we will do our best to avoid any and all foot puns. Now let’s kick things off ...

I wasn’t planning on writing a mid-game Gramatica Errors column this week, but I see the Toe Boys of the world being targeted right now, and as a charter member of the Shoe Crew, a worshipper at the altar of Big Lace, I felt the need to speak out.

Everyone needs to leave the kicker men alone.

Both Eagles kicker Jake Elliott and Patriots kicker Stephen Gostkowski failed to convert field goals early in Super Bowl 52, and a whole lot of you critics out there had stuff to say. Yes, both kicks were makeable — Elliott missed an extra point wide right, and Gostkowski couldn’t convert a 26-yarder, hitting the left upright and seeing the ball clang back sadly to the turf.

UPDATE: Stephen Gostkowski has now missed an extra point in the second quarter. I have no idea what is going on.

Still, look at the slander:

Yes, Gostkowski missed. The hold was bad. I get the reference:

Is that sarcasm, you bully? Is that supposed to be wit?

Oh, very topical. BRA-VO.

Here’s the thing, though: Everyone shut up.

Gostkowski had no business making that kick. The snap was dropped by the holder, then picked up awkwardly and set poorly, throwing off Gostkowski’s entire rhythm. Dude had to stutter step on his way up to the ball. The fact that he was even able to get the ball airborne was a miracle as far as I’m concerned.

Belichick not letting him kick a 52-yard field goal and going for it on fourth down after that, well, he liked the look he had for Gronkowski. It had nothing to do with Gostkowski.

And Elliott, well, uh, kicking is hard! The world is watching him! You try and kick a misshapen lump of pig with a hajillion people watching and see how you do. That’s what I thought.

Anyway, I love field goal kickers and everyone needs to leave them alone. They’re trying really hard. Toe Boys for life.