Rule 1 of dealing with Canada geese is Canada geese are assholes. Just tremendous, mean, territorial assholes. They hiss like snakes, kick like mules, and sound like large men farting through a French horn. They are bumblebee-bodied abominations that exist in a vacuum where logic and physics do not apply. They are not ducks you can pleasantly feed by a pond in your old age. They are only waiting for an opening in which they can attack you, steal your bread, your wallet, and your girlfriend.
This driver got pummeled and trash-talked by an angry goose while the goose’s family watched
There is no good reason to ever mess with a goose.
Rule 2 doesn’t exist, because there is no justification for a Rule 2. Don’t bother with geese. There is no winning when you fight with an asshole. They just drag you to their level before beating you with experience. Then you’re the guy who got his ass kicked by the only threatening thing to ever come from Canada.
This guy.
I don’t know what this driver did before this video of him getting ruthlessly merked by a mama goose. All I know is he ignored Rules 1 and 2.
Poor guy got put on roller skates by a 20-pound goose. A 20-pound goose that mercilessly shit-talked him the whole time, then went back to its family to tell them all what a little bitch he was. I don’t know how your day is going, but it’s much better than this man, who likely pulled over to help a family of birds cross a busy intersection and ate several mouthfuls of feathers for his good Samaritan efforts.
His heart was in the right place. His brain was not. Never forget Rule 1.
Geese are assholes.
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