The only correct American League ballot for the 2018 MLB All-Star Game

Hello, and welcome to the only correct American League ballot for the 2018 MLB All-Star game. This will save you a lot of time. We took a look at the only correct ballot for the National League yesterday, and it’s time to see who they’ll be playing.

Will Mike Trout get my vote? Well, you’ll just have to read and see.

Hmm. Apparently every AL catcher has laudanum poisoning, so this is a little difficult. Austin Romine, the Yankees’ backup catcher, actually leads the AL in WAR right now. The next two are catchers who don’t appear on the ballot (Max Stassi, Luke Maile). Then there are three dinger saturated catchers with OBPs pushing .300, and we’re supposed to choose between them.

Salvador Perez and Mike Zunino both have OBPs under .300, so they’re eliminated under the Javier Baez Rule established yesterday. That leaves Gary Sanchez, who was so bad for the first nine games of the season that he hosed his overall numbers. Without those nine games, he’s hitting .235/.348/.523, which is much more Sanchezic, so it’s probably safe to assume he’s close to the same player he was last year.

Last year’s Sanchez was a star, of course. Someone who belongs in a game with all the stars, if we want to get pedantic. You can make an argument for Wilson Ramos, who has traded in a handful of dingers for twice as many singles, but he’s also 1-for-20 in nabbing base stealers and leads the AL in double plays. I’ll err on the side of the young guy who is probably a star already.

Hmm. Apparently every AL first baseman has laudanum poisoning, so this is a little difficult. Assuming you’re not buying what Mitch Moreland is selling — look, I’m still having a tough time getting used to Justin Smoak, so don’t push Moreland on me just yet — there aren’t other any first basemen with an OPS over .900. Smoak is having a fine season, as is Matt Olson, but none of them are doing so well that I’m in a rush to celebrate them.

That leaves the legacy players, and the good news is that there are a couple of options. The bad news is that they’re all flawed. Joe Mauer’s OBP is .404, which is outstanding, but he’s tied in home runs with Jake Arrieta, which is less outstanding. Miguel Cabrera is hitting .314/.397/.483, but he fields like every Molina brother tied together and wearing full catcher’s gear, and he has just three dingers. I’m tempted to go with Cabrera as a reward for his Hall of Fame career, but this guy isn’t the player we’re used to.

I’ll go with a combination of the currently effective and the reliable, then. Abreu’s OPS+ as of this writing is 141. His career OPS+ is 142. He’s hitting .300/.356/.526; his career line is .301/.358/.525.

A vote for Abreu is a vote for Abreu’s career, in other words. We’re five years in, and it’s been a pretty sweet career.

I get that we should honor Jed Lowrie’s weird, hilarious season somehow, but I want all stars in my All-Star Game. I’m literal like that. And while I’m agog with the 151 plate appearances of Gleyber Torres’ career, nothing is going to make me forget about Jose Danged Altuve.

He’s hitting .332/.373/.453, of course. While he has just four home runs, those aren’t really necessary for the purest Altuve experience. He’s led the league in hits for four straight seasons, getting over 200 each time. Guess what he’s on pace for right now.

What a mess. What an absolute mess. Here, I’ve changed my mind:

C - Carlos Correa
1B - Francisco Lindor
2B - Jose Altuve
SS - Andrelton Simmons
3B - Manny Machado

Except that would still leave off Xander Bogaerts. Jean Segura is hitting .339/.358/.486, and there’s a strong argument that he hasn’t had one of the five best shortstop seasons in the AL.

What a mess. What an absolute mess.

If you go by raw hitting stats, Machado is up to a 1.014 OPS with 18 dingers. If you’re going by defense, Simmons is the best defender of his generation, which might make him the best defender ever and, oh, he’s hitting .330.

Lindor is something of a compromise, then. If it weren’t for Simmons, he’d probably be the best defender in baseball. If not for Machado, he’d be having the best offensive season by a shortstop. As is, he’s a jack of all trades and pretty close to mastering them all. Dude’s good. And while this is the only correct AL ballot, I guess I could make an exception for someone who wanted to vote for Simmons. Or Machado. Or Correa. I could even turn a blind eye to some partisan Bogaerts love.

Really, this is such a mess, I’m tempted to go with Aledmys Diaz as a protest vote. We shouldn’t have to make choices like this.

There was a part of me that didn’t want to Indians up the whole left side of the infield, just out of general aesthetics. But if you take Correa, then you have a whole Astros double play combination. If you take Simmons, you’ll have a bunch of Angels. If you take Machado, you’ll have an Oriole. There’s no way to win the spread-the-love game, so we’re going with the best player available.

That player would be Ramirez. If Matt Chapman and his warlock glove were hitting just a little more, it might have been close. As is, it’s not. A year after finishing third in the MVP race, Ramirez is hitting for even more power, and he’s walking more than he’s striking out. He’s not splitting his time all around the infield anymore, and he’s thriving defensively at third.

Here, read this reminder of Ramirez’s strange path to superstardom. It’s good for you.

Don’t be a dummy.

The real question is how this outfield will eventually compare to some of the best in history. We don’t know what kind of career numbers these three will finish with, but there’s a chance that people will look back at the 2018 AL outfield and sigh wistfully, wishing they could watch these three play together. You have that chance!

It won’t be that exciting because, ugh, All-Star Game, but the thought is nice.

This trio still has a long, long way to go before we can compare it to the Aaron-Mays-Clemente outfields from the ‘60s, but it’s not, like, Jason Bay/Curtis Granderson/Vernon Wells. All of whom were fine players at one point, but you get the idea. This outfield has a chance to be special.

My only regret is that we didn’t have anything to argue about.

NOW WE DO.

Let’s be real: J.D. Martinez is the better hitter. He’s a more valuable DH to his team, even before you get to the part where he’s taken 120 more at-bats. Martinez is having an absolutely fantastic season, and he’s in his fifth year of being one of the absolute best hiters in baseball.

But I wanna watch Ohtani.

According to all of the rules and criteria I’ve laid out over the last two days, this shouldn’t be a hard decision. Are you going to go with a steady, incredible hitter, or a rookie having a hot two months?

But I wanna watch Ohtani.

This goes against all of my all-star beliefs, all of the established rules.

But I wanna watch Ohtani.

I’m guessing that Ohtani has a chance to make it as a pitcher anyway, but if he does that, there won’t be any at-bats between him and Max Scherzer.

But I wanna watch Ohtani hit against Max Scherzer.

It’s okay if you want to yell at me for being a living distracted-boyfriend meme, but I’m pretty comfortable with this decision. More importantly, I’m pretty sure the world will be, too, and Ohtani is what we’ll get in the lineup.

That’s a good thing, you know. Because I really wanna watch that guy.