SEATTLE, March 27 — “In my opinion, it’s a crime against the sport. The sanctity of the game ... I think you have to say it’s being called into question, at this point.”
With a swoosh, baseball is forever changed
The Seattle Mariners are hosting the Texas Rangers in the second game of what is sure to be an unremarkable 2020 season. Unremarkable, that is, except for the team’s new uniforms. Late-stage capitalism has finally made its appearance in the hitherto-pure world of baseball with the emergence of a symbol which is being discussed with such ferocity it’s been handed a new moniker: ‘The hated swoosh’.
Reaction to the imposition of the Nike logo upon baseball fans’ innocent eyes has been unrelentingly negative. At T-Mobile Park, bathed in gently pulsing pink light and perched over a 50-foot-long Pepsi sign, Rangers fan Clifton Haight found common ground with his hosts.
“It’s disgusting, what Nike are doing, what MLB are letting them do. There’s always been a purity to baseball. It’s not like basketball, where all that counts is money, celeb culture. You know, the bling. We don’t need this in our faces.”
Four empty rows back and cradling a $27 Bud ‘the Right Beer for a Good Time at the Ballpark’ Light, Adley Dalrymple agrees. “We lost last night, but I came to T-Mobile — I call it ‘The Teeb’ — amped up for the season. I’ve been a ticket-holder for 15 years, and this is the first time that the front office has managed to cut payroll three years in a row. I thought big things were coming, but I could never have imagined this. I know it sounds silly, but it’s like our great nation’s pastime is being infiltrated by corporate interests. It’s really disturbing.”
How baseball fans will react long-term to Nike’s invasion of their teams’ jerseys is unknown. But for now, they’re mad, and more than happy to let everyone know it.
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