It’s carnage for the top seeds in our 2019 Beer Bracket

You can fill out your 2019 NCAA tournament bracket based on several different factors. Sure, weighing each team based on their basketball talent is one way. Or maybe you’d prefer to pick teams based on which mascot would win in a fight.

But as a person who enjoys beer — and who found it a great comfort as his alma mater, Vanderbilt University, took the highest-rated recruiting class in program history and spun it into an 0-19 SEC record — my preferred nonsense bracket lies somewhere in the intersection of water, grain, hops, and yeast. So in order to crown this year’s champion, we’ll be breaking down every single matchup in this year’s tournament by each school’s local brewery.

How will we do it? Well, since I unfortunately haven’t been to the vast majority of the grain transmogrifiers across the country, I’ve gotta call in some backup. Every university will be represented by the highest-rated brewery in their home towns (with a minimum of 10 ratings if there’s more than one local brewery), as judged by the users at Beer Advocate. If there’s more than one school in a given city, the top seed with get the top-rated brewery and the lower seeded school will get the second-best beerseller. If the college doesn’t have a brewery within its city limits, it’ll get assigned the closest one.

With our breweries in order, matchups will be determined by a lineup of a company’s highest-rated beers — with a minimum of 20 reviews each — ensuring 2019’s winner is the brewer with the most complete lineup of brews and not just a one-hit wonder. Teams will use their top-ranked beer in their first round, next best in round two, and so on and so forth. In some cases, breweries without enough rated beers were swapped out with other, more-often-rated breweries just to keep things as balanced as possible. Some cities only had one brewery with few reviews, so I used Untappd as a supplement when necessary (while scaling some of these scores back to the mean since Untappd typically has higher average ratings).

Don’t agree with the choice of brewery/beer for your favored school? Take it up with the jamokes writing reviews over at Beer Advocate, who currently rate the top brewery in my current home of Madison, Wisconsin as Delta Beer Labs — a parody of what would happen if a brewery pandered to its local audience so pretentiously that it disappeared up its own asshole. (They did not have enough reviews to usurp the far, far superior Karben4 as the official unofficial beer of the University of Wisconsin)

Also, breweries don’t necessarily (or often) represent their college towns. Northeastern gets repped here by Trillium, home of the $55 growler. For one month of graduate student pay you could buy a couple four-packs there.

Here’s how the 2019 beer bracket shakes out. Keep in mind the folks at Beer Advocate really, really seem to like super hoppy hazy IPAs and anything that’s been stored in a bourbon barrel for a few weeks. And get ready for some numblingly stupid names for mediocre beers.

(16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View) over (16) Alementary Brewing (Fairleigh Dickinson)

Lone Pint, in somewhat nearby Magnolia and assuredly not a ripoff of Lone Star Brewing, wins with its Yellow Rose IPA (4.41 score) over Alementary’s poorly-reviewed lineup in Hackensack

(11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont) over (11) Yards Brewing (Temple)

Southern Grist’s DDH Noise Pollution (4.29) out-duels Yards’ General Washington’s Tavern Porter (Barrel Aged) (4.08) in our first appearance from a beer that needed to be stored in the casks of another, stronger drink in order to be made good.

(16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota State) over (16) Ponysaurus Brewing (NC Central)

NC Central got hosed when Duke took Fullstream Brewing, leaving the smaller school with the not especially liked Export Lager at Ponysaurus (3.91). Drekker’s Freak Parade double IPA (4.29) wins easily.

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) over (11) Four Peaks Brewing (Arizona State)

St. John’s proximity to good New England IPAs and review-loving beer hipsters gives the Red Storm the juice to go far in this bracket. Finback Brewery’s Between the Dead (4.44) is one of the top-rated beverages in this year’s lineup, dispatching Four Peaks’ Sirius Black (4.11)

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (7) Against the Grain Brewery (Louisville)

Surly is great, and their Abrasive Ale (4.5) is enough to make a hard-luck loser out of Against the Grain’s 70K (4.32)

(3) Tin Roof Brewing (LSU) over (14) City Steam Brewing (Yale)

Baton Rouge’s highest-regarded brewery juuuuust barely sneaks by Hartford’s thanks to Smiling Ivan’s 4.03 score — .02 better than City Steam’s Careless Love biere de garde (4.01).

(5) Red Clay Brewing (Auburn) over (12) High Desert Brewing (New Mexico St.)

Auburn didn’t have a local brewery, so we had to turn to Opelika’s Red Clay Brewing Co. They’re so well liked their best reviewed popular beer (via Untappd, because they didn’t have much traction on BA) is a cider. Not a very good one, either — Murdercreek only scored a 3.96 despite its delightful name. That’s still better than High Desert’s poorly received Anniversary IPA (3.78). If this were a college basketball game, it would be a 44-38 Big Ten tournament rock fight.

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (4) Proof Brewing (Florida St.)

Foam Brewers is the Catamounts, and Built to Spill IPA (4.41) is T.J. Sorrentine. Poor Proof Brewing’s Creatures in the Dark (4.09) never had a chance.

(2) Ellison Brewery & Spirits (Michigan St.) over (15) Bearded Owl Brewery (Bradley)

Bearded Owl gives us the first beer name of the tournament you’d be embarrassed to order out loud with It’s Not Me, It’s You (4.00). It’s mercifully dispatched by Ellison’s DDH Citra Evolution (4.28)

(11) Southern Grist (Belmont) over (6) Denizens Brewing (Maryland)

Southern Grist’s second beer of the tournament, [Insert Juicy Pun] (4.29) ran Denizens’ Big Red Norm (3.88) off the court and left me wishing I could have just picked Natural Light for the Terrapins.

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (4) Free State Brewing (Kansas)

Remember what I said before about Trillium. Beer. Snobs. Can’t. Get. Enough. Of. Their. $14. Beers. Free State’s Old Backus Barleywine (4.21) got merked by Trillium’s Headroom (4.61). I’m not even looking at the description but I’m gonna assume its some kind of double-dry, hopped triple-IPA made solely in response to Old Milwaukee’s old “bitter beer face” ads.

(5) Lakefront Brewery (Marquette) over (12) Perrylodgic Brewing (Murray St.)

Perrylodgic is 25 miles from Murray State’s campus. It’s not a beer town. Milwaukee has about six local breweries within walking distance of Marquette (some are long walks), and wins pretty much by default with Lakefront’s Black Friday Bourbon Barrel Aged Stout (4.33)

(10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida) over (7) Brasserie Saint James (Nevada)

Nevada swoops in with the fanciest-named local brewery, then swoops right back out with 1904 (4.06) can’t compete with Swamp Head’s, ugh, Saison du Swamp (4.19).

(2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky) over (15) Pappy Slokum Brewing (Abilene Christian)

Country Boy’s Infinite Sadness black ale (4.31) sweeps Stripper Dust (3.86) right the hell out of the bracket.

(6) Conshohocken Brewing (Villanova) over (11) Federation Brewing (Saint Mary’s)

The delightfully named and near campus Tin Lizard Brewing Co. didn’t have enough reviews to make the list for Villanova, so Conshohocken, some five miles away, got the call in its place. Their Type A American IPA (3.98) juuuuuust barely squeaked (squck?) by Oakland’s (Moraga doesn’t have a brewery either) Federation and their Imperial milk stout Nap Time (3.97).

(16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View) over (1) Iron Goat Brewing (Gonzaga)

Lone Pint’s solid reviews makes Prairie View a worth successor to UMBC’s throne. Their Zythophile Summit (4.26) smoked Spokane’s poorly reviewed Iron Goat and its Impaler Ale (3.95). No, I don’t know what a zythophile is either, and I’m not gonna look it up on my work computer.

(15) Big Sky Brewing (Montana) vs. (2) Arbor Brewing (Michigan)

Big Sky’s most ubiquitous offering, Moose Drool, doesn’t even show up among their top five popular beers. Instead it’s Barrel Aged Ivan the Terrible (4.25) carrying the load for an upset win over Michigan and its Arbor Brewing Sodibo Barrel Aged Blond Ale (Sour Series) (4.01)

(7) RJ Rockers Brewery (Wofford) over (10) Gaslight Brewery and Restaurant (Seton Hall)

RJ Rockers has great reviews on Untappd and relatively poor ones on Beer Advocate, but a fairly low 3.88 rating for Star Spangled Stout was still enough to knock out South Orange’s Gaslight and its 3.78-rated Bourbon Barrel Quad.

(3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue) over (14) Smartmouth Brewing (Old Dominion)

Daggers Bearing Notes sure is a name for a beer. At a 4.05 rating, it’s better than Smartmouth’s Notch 9 (3.97)

(8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse) over (9) Brotherwell Brewing (Baylor)

Waco was another city where it was difficult to find a qualifying brewery. Brotherwell came closest, but their Percy Porter (3.77) couldn’t stand up against Middle Ages’ 10th Anniversary Double IPA (4.08).

(10) Big Grove Brewing (Iowa) vs. (7) MadTree Brewing (Cincinnati)

Cincinnati had a surplus of breweries to choose from, with MadTree clocking the most positive reviews on BA. It still wasn’t a match for the pride of Iowa City, Big Grove Brewing. Their Richard the Whale Macaroon is a combination of words that don’t go together in any meaningful way but manages to be the name of a pretty good beer, scoring a 4.45 to MadTree’s Axis Mundi - Coffee And Vanilla - Barrel-Aged (4.32).

(9) 405 Brewing (Oklahoma) over (8) Yalobusha Brewing (Mississippi)

According to Google, the closest brewery to Ole Miss is Yalobusha, which is more than 30 miles away.

How is that possible I don’t even...

(14) Braxton Brewing (Northern Kentucky) over (3) The Plains Brewing (Texas Tech)

Lubbock only had one brewery crop up on BeerAdvocate, and since it was a lightly-reviewed chophouse I swapped in The Plains Brewing Co., which is in Lubbock but only shows up in reviews on Untappd. They aren’t great, either, with their Plains IPA scoring a 3.96. Braxton’s creatively named Braxton Labs NE IPA 001 (4.23) wins this one easily

(13) Backstreet Brewing (UC Irvine) over (4) Tallgrass Brewing (Kansas St.)

I thought Tallgrass was a respected rising brewery from the Great Plains. I was apparently not in the majority. Buffalo Sweat (3.88) turned out to be one of the lowest-rated lead beers in the bracket, even if always tasted pretty good to me. Backstreet’s Murder By Death Bourbon Barrel Aged moves on with a 4.03 score.

(15) Good Nature Farm Brewery & Tap Room (Colgate) over (2) Downtown Grill and Brewery (Tennessee)

Behold, possibly the worst-rated brewery in the bracket — the Downtown Grill and Brewery. Beer Advocate does not care for Knoxville, so at least it’s got that going for it.

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (1) Champion Brewing (Virginia)

I’m sorry, Cavaliers.

I’m so, so sorry.

New Groove’s excessively-titled Missed Your Plane - Six & Twenty Barrel Aged (4.39) beats Champion’s Fruitbasket IPA (4.2)

(11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s) over (6) Big Ditch Brewing (Buffalo)

Finback’s second entry, BQE - Barrel Aged (4.39) is still stronger than most other teams’ top beers. It ends the Bulls’ Final Four hopes despite a solid showing from Big Ditch’s Hayburner American IPA (4.18).

(12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon) over (5) Karben4 (Wisconsin)

I am devastated for my current home brewery, which didn’t stand a chance from the Eugene juggernaut and its Hellfire Double Barrel Especial (4.5). Karben4’s Idiot Farm (4.15) got eclipsed by the Ducks.

For what it’s worth, I’d put their Tokyo Sauna up against anything else in the bracket.

(9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington) over (8) Whatever 3.2% ABV Beer You’re Getting at the State Liquor Store (Utah State)

Searching for Logan, Utah on BeerAdvisor only brings this up:

Which checks out. The closest brewery, per Google, is Talisman. Talisman has great reviews, but I’m not rewarding the Aggies for not having a recognized brewery within 40 miles of campus. The Huskies get the Pac-12 a win here, even if it’s by default.

(16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota St.) over (1) Fullsteam Brewery (Duke)

As much as I want a beer called Multiple Ectogasms (4.27) to lose, even the Blue Devils’ advantage of pulling Durham’s top brewery failed to push Fullsteam’s First Frost - Brandy Barrel Aged (4.12) into the second round.

(3) St. Arnold Brewery (Houston) juuuust barely over (14) Scofflaw Brewing (Georgia State)

Scofflaw and St. Arnold threw down the gauntlet in their showdown as Barrel Aged Coffee Absentium and Pumpkinator (Bourbon Barrel Aged) tied with equal 4.4 scores. Unfortunately for the Atlanta brewery, their second-best beer, Hooligan (4.18), couldn’t stand up against Houston’s Bishop’s Barrel (4.22)

(12) Apocalypse Ale Works (Liberty) over (5) Sweetgum Brewing (Mississippi St)

Apocalypse isn’t particularly close to Liberty, which makes sense because their beer lineup — including Lustful Maiden (3.94) — doesn’t seem like something that would be especially welcome at Jerry Falwell’s school. Fortunately the only consistently reviewed brewery in Starkville only has two beers on tap, one of which has a rating of “N/A.” The other is a 3.48.

The less said about them, the better. Flames win.

(16) Broken Bow Brewery (Iona) over (1) Carolina Brewery (North Carolina)

Broken Bow’s Old Split-Foot (4.04) made short work of Carolina’s Oatmeal Porter (3.87) to cap a four-for-four sweep for 16 seeds over 1 seeds. I know, I know, I was hoping for the simple, non-ironic name to win one this round, too.

(8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU) absolutely ruins (9) Orlando Brewing Partners (UCF)

Orlando’s Ten10 Brewing didn’t have enough reviews to make the cut, so the honors fell to Orlando Brewing Partners. This was not a good trade. OBP’s top beer, Blackwater Porter, only scored a 3.72. Richmond’s Dead Thumb imperial stout (4.46) wins in the beer equivalent of the 1992 USA Basketball squad facing off against Angola.

(11) Zaftig Brewing (Ohio St.) over (6) Olde Main Brewing (Iowa St.)

Ames’ Olde Main Brewing Co. had significantly more reviews than Torrent or Alluvial, so it got the call to represent Iowa State. Poorly, it turns out. Olde Main only had two qualifying beers that scored higher than a 3. Columbus has no shortage of breweries, but Zaftig and its BamBaLam (4.11) gets an effective bye week to kick off the tournament.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) routs (4) Bull & Bones Brewhaus (Virginia Tech)

Just 1.2 points separates Perennial’s Barrel-Aged Abraxas — the top rated beer in the bracket at 4.74 — and Bull & Bones’ not particularly enjoyed Maroon Effect Ale (3.54). If VCU-UCF was the dream team in 1992, this matchup is like the ‘96 Bulls taking on a high school team from suburban Rhode Island.

(8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU) over (16) Drekker Brewing (North Dakota State)

Drekker’s Phantom Hand clocks in at a 4.12 — pretty strong for the company’s third-best beer, but not enough to knock off what The Answer’s 3 Scoops: Passionfruit, Mango, Peach (4.44), whiiiiiiich, upon review, may just be melted sorbet and mash liquor.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (12) Apocalypse Ale House (Liberty)

Red Hoppocalypse Imperial Ale (3.92) is one of the weaker round-two offerings out there. Maman imperial stout (4.62) combines all the perfect factors for BA users — fancy sounding name, “imperial” style, crap-ton of booze (11.5 percent alcohol), “artisan” to check off at least four boxes on the “beer dork bingo” sheet.

(11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont) over (3) Tin Roof Brewing (LSU)

The 12-year-old Nashville brewery rolls on as DDH Mixed Greens (4.22) holds off Tin Roof’s Voodoo APA (4.03) to bring Belmont’s proxy to 3-0 for the tournament. It’s the first time anything good has happened to someone in Nashville at a place called Tin Roof in years.

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (2) Ellison Brewery and Spirits (Michigan State)

Surly’s Darkness (4.48) keeps me from having to write out more nonsense titles from Ellison like their round-two entry You Can Get With That...JUICE (4.23)

(8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse) over (16) Lone Pint Brewing (Prairie View)

Lone Pint’s drop off from its second beer to Zeno’s Pale Ale (4.03) signals the end of its Cinderella run. It falls to Middle Ages’ Blackheart Stout (4.06).

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (5) Lakefront Brewery (Marquette)

Foam Brewers’ college alt rock lineup chugs along from Built to Spill to Pavement New England IPA, whose 4.41 score shuffles Lakefront Brewery and the state of Wisconsin off the tournament’s moral coil.

:(

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) over (14) Braxton Brewing (N. Kentucky)

Finback keeps going strong, riding Fat Mango and its 4.38 fruit beer score to the Sweet 16 by toppling Braxton’s 4.11-rated Dead Blow Coffee Stout.

(10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida) over (15) Big Sky Brewing (Montana)

Big Sky pulled out the ol’ trick play by springing a barleywine on us in round two. Specifically, Olde Bluehair Barley Wine (4.01). Swamp Head was ready though, dispatching the Montana fixture with its 10-10-10 IPA (Bourbon Barrel Aged) (4.14)

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewery (Gardner-Webb) over (9) 405 Brewing (Oklahoma)

New Groove’s Dichotomy sour (4.31) is one of round two’s strongest beers, even if it probably tastes a little bit like phlegm (a rich sour tradition). 405’s Freelance Whale (right.) (4.14) puts up a good fight, but ultimately comes up short for the Sooners.

(12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon) over (13) Backstreet Brewery (UC-Irvine)

The Oregon hotshot blows the Backstreet boys out of the water with its Rum Brunch in Hell (4.45) the highest rated of approximately 1,000 barrel-aged beers from Oakshire. Backstreet’s Crippler (3.81) never had a chance.

(3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue) over (6) Conshohocken Brewing (Villanova)

West Lafayette’s best reviewed brewery stays alive thanks to Absolute Mewnit (4.01) which despite being an extremely new money, meme-aware local beer name is at least brief. Conshohocken’s Day Without a Dawn (3.93), the bracket’s most My Chemical Romance-sounding of beers, bows out.

(10) Big Grove Brewery (Iowa) over (15) Good Nature Farm Brewery (Colgate)

Big Grove’s Big Ed (4.27) just squeaked by Broken Bow’s Annie imperial IPA (4.12) Colgate’s local brewery bows out without a single mint- or toothpaste-related beer on the docket, which is a tremendous disappointment for a lazy joke writer like me but also probably a good idea taste-wise.

(9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington) over (16) Broken Bow Brewery (Iona)

Holy Mountain staged a blowout when their Clarette American wild ale (4.46) totally wrecked Broken Bow’s Broken Heart Stout (3.41).

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (5) Red Clay Brewing (Auburn)

Trillium’s reign of terror claims another victim with its never-ending list of limited releases that somehow get reviewed hundreds of times in the two weeks they’re available (this time it’s Double Dry Hopped Congress Street and its 4.59 score). Are all their extremely well-received barrel-aged beers really barrel aged? Well, there’s some debate about that, though Trillium denies any impropriety on their end.

(3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston) over (11) Zaftig Brewing (Ohio State)

Saint Arnold’s high gravity Bishop’s Barrel 21 Belgian quadruple (a mere 12.5 percent alcohol and a 4.22 score) knocks Columbus out of the bracket, besting Zaftig’s Juicy Lucy (4.06).

(2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky) over (7) RJ Rockers Brewing (Wofford)

RJ Rockers’ Black Perle Dark IPA’s 3.82 score wasn’t enough to carry the Terriers through to another round. Country Boy advances with its Nate Coffee Stout (4.1)

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (8) The Answer Brewpub (VCU)

The Answer brought out its Mounds Vesuvius (4.39), which sounds like either a discount strip club or candy store — neither of which you’d want to visit. Beer Advocate assures me it’s an imperial stout. 4.39 is a great score, but not enough to take down Perennial’s Apricot Funky Wit (4.55).

(10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota) over (11) Southern Grist Brewing (Belmont)

Nashville’s own Process Control (4.16) is no match for Surly’s widely distributed — and pretty good — Todd the Axe Man (4.46)

(13) Foam Brewers (Vermont) over (8) Middle Ages Brewing (Syracuse)

Foam’s list of alt rock beers comes to an end, but their high ratings do not as Galaxie 500 rolls in with a 4.39 to sweep Middle Ages’ Dragonslayer (4.04) out of the competition.

(11) Finback Brewery (St. John’s) (10) Swamp Head Brewery (Florida)

Finback’s NYC bonafides continue with Heinous imperial stout (4.37). That’s a good enough score to oust Swamp Head and its Tropical Disturbance (4.12)

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (12) Oakshire Brewing (Oregon)

You know what Kurt Cobain would have loved? One of his song titles being used to sell upscale beers to thriving young adults in a college town. Oregon’s Heart Shaped Box (4.09) loses to Bluesberry Porter (4.25)

(10) Big Grove Brewing (Iowa) over (3) Brokerage Brewing (Purdue)

Big Grove’s Jean Luc Richard (4.24) prevents me from writing out more of Brokerage’s terrible beer names by defeating ... Lemur Juice (3.98)

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (9) Holy Mountain Brewing (Washington)

Trillium’s gauntlet of limited-edition beers continues with Permutation Series #57: Imperial Stout w/ Coconut & Vanilla (4.59), which knocks out Holy Mountain’s MIsere Au Borinage (4.41) in a heavyweight battle.

(3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston) over (2) Country Boy Brewing (Kentucky)

SA’s Endeavor IPA (4.15) beats, thank God, Country Boy’s Sexual Dracula (4.07).

Only one seed in the single digits remains. This probably isn’t a great way to pick your bracket.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (10) Surly Brewing (Minnesota)

The Billikens roll into the final four when Perennial’s Barrel-Aged Sump Coffee Stout (4.51) out-reviews Surly’s Pentagram Aged (4.31)

(11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s) over (13) Foam Brewers (Vermont)

Finback’s Orange Crush (4.37) is enough to push New York’s brewing scene into the Final Four, ousting Foam’s Television and its otherwise excellent 4.33 score.

(16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb) over (10) Big Grove Brewery (Iowa)

The pride of Boiling Springs, South Carolina, moves on to the Final Four with REMIX: Chocolate (4.22), defeating Big Grove’s Color TV (4.14)

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (3) Saint Arnold Brewing (Houston)

The last top(ish) seed falls when Saint Arnold’s Art Car IPA (3.99) can’t hold a candle to Trillium’s Double Dry Hopped Fort Point Pale Ale (4.58).

An 11-seed, two 13s, and a 16. Just as God intended.

(13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis) over (11) Finback Brewing (St. John’s)

Perennial’s Barrel Aged Vermilion Barleywine (4.49) still qualifies as beer, apparently. Apologies to Finback, whose Orange Crush (4.37) falls to the discard pile.

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (16) New Groove Artisan Brewing (Gardner-Webb)

Trillium’s ‘92 Dream Team run continues as its Trillium / Monkish - Insert Hip Hop Reference There (sigh) and its 4.58 score pushes the little Carolina brewery that could and its Double Time w/ Galaxy and Citra (4.2) out of the bracket.

Yes, collaborations count.

...

I guess.

(13) Trillium Brewing (Northeastern) over (13) Perennial Artisan Ales (Saint Louis)

Trillium’s massive amount of high-rated beers pushes the Boston juggernaut into the spotlight once more as our beer bracket champion. The brewery’s Coconut PM Dawn (4.57) beat out Perennial’s Raspberry Funky Wit (4.33) for the title, proving that leaning hard into barrel-aged, dry-hopped, and weirdly-named beers is the best way to appease the kind of drinker that catalogues all her/his beverages immediately after drinking them.

Congrats to the Huskies, and the nearby brewery none of their students have ever used for beer pong. You stand alone at the intersection of elite college basketball and elite suds.