When Chicago Cubs fan Joanne DeVerize died at 95, she took the opportunity to take a swipe at her team, who are currently busying themselves crying poor despite a great deal of evidence to the contrary. DeVerize’s obituary called out Cubs ownership her her own request and, as you might expect from someone who was dead, it took few prisoners:
When I am old I hope I’m not mad enough at my sports teams to try to haunt them from beyond the grave
Is sports fandom an eternal bond?
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Donations in Joanne’s memory may be donated toward the impoverished Ricketts family of Chicago, Illinois, for the purposes of assembling a near-Major-League-caliber bullpen
This is a fun story! People love the idea of having so much venom towards the team you support that you continue to dole it out from beyond the grave. It’s also an impressively common story. Check these out.
- Patrick Killebrew died unhappy with the Washington Nationals’ inability to hold a lead.
- Elizabeth Porter Bowman was (understandably) vexed by having ever had to watch Jay Cutler.
- Lee Merkel produced an unoriginal but still funny quip at the Buffalo Bills’ expense.
- Scott E. Entsminger did the same for the Browns.
- Helen Fowler wanted the world to know that she did not like Alex Rodriguez.
There are probably more, but you get the drift. I’m not yet old enough to be thinking seriously about my obituary, but I’m already very angry at my various sports teams almost all the time. Angry enough to haunt them from beyond the grave? Probably. And given that I should have at least another few decades for those grudges to fester, I’ll only become more embittered with time.
Then again, perhaps the Seattle Mariners will start making me happy between now and my death so I won’t have to ... yeah, I can’t even keep a straight face as I type this sentence. My posthumous diatribe shall be magnificent.
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