Ranking college football QBs by vibes, using the Dungeons and Dragons chart

Much like everyone else who works at SB Nation, I am both chronically online and a huge nerd.

Nothing excites me more than tying sports into things I love, such as Dungeons and Dragons. In Dungeons and Dragons, your character has what’s called an alignment, which defines how your character acts during the campaign. In every situation along the story, the alignment defines how the character responds.

Naturally, my first thought is to apply this to college quarterbacks. In the preseason, I released the alignment charts for college QBs, that’s largely based on vibes and style of play—not numbers.

So let’s provide some examples and define some categories using this chart before releasing the current chart.

Lawful Good: Incredible vibes, fun style of play. I would watch them throw the ball forever.

Neutral Good: Overall good vibes at QB, not as high end awesome vibes as Lawful Good, but still good vibes regardless.

Chaotic Good: The vibes are slowly going down, but are still fairly high. These QBs sometimes make throws or do highly insane things, both good and bad.

Lawful Neutral: Good enough to be considered a good college QB, with less high end awesome play.

True Neutral: Stetson Bennett. That’s true neutral.

Chaotic Neutral: Sometimes maybe good, sometimes maybe bad. The good doesn’t happen as often as chaotic good though.

Lawful evil: They won’t inherently win you games, and the odds they lose you a game are slim (but never zero). Not as many high moments, but never really getting catastrophically low.

Neutral evil: Overall bad QBs. Not good enough to win you games, but not fun enough to be considered chaotic.

Chaotic evil: These are the true college QBs. Are they good? No, probably not. Is it fun to watch them regardless of the result? Absolutely.

PSA: players who are freshman who haven’t started every game usually get placed in Chaotic Neutral, but I will be watching their career with great interest.

Without further ado, here’s the midseason QB Alignment chart!

A few thoughts on the midseason chart:

So, when I first started this it was only going to be for different variants of Bo Nix. Nix, the former Auburn and now Oregon signal caller, it the epitome of chaos. Sometimes he’ll throw a beautiful touchdown over a defender, and then the next play he’ll throw a pick six directly to a linebacker.

Variants of Bo Nix include, but are not limited to: Anthony Richardson, Graham Mertz, Adrian Martinez and DJ Uiagalelei. Martinez and Uiagalelei have played rather well this year, DJU being impressive after a sluggish start and Martinez running over teams at will. Nix himself has played well, despite the Georgia game. However, these QBs are all on the scale of chaos known as Bo Nix. The next QB up on that scale? JJ McCarthy of Michigan.

I simply cannot leave Hooker in the same preseason spot he was in after simply deciding to not throw an interception. He’s leading an explosive offense while also making NFL-level throws. I genuinely enjoy watching him play, and for that reason he joins the club of Lawful Good.

I bet you’re probably wondering why Dorian Thompson-Robinson is there, and for that I leave you with this: