No touchdowns means no free pizza toppings for Redskins fans

If you don’t understand this...

...I can explain.

Okay, see if you can follow this function here. So, x = y, where x is the number of touchdowns the Redskins score and y is the number of free pizza toppings you can put on your pizza for free. Okay, so in this case, Washington scored...hmm...carry the two...ZERO touchdowns against San Francisco Monday night. Okay, zero touchdowns. So let x = 0. So 0 = y. Okay, do you want to graph it out real quick? Okay, let’s see, plot the data...

Okay, so we’ve got zero touchdowns, so that’s...okay, that’s definitely zero on the y-axis. Therefore-- sorry, ERGO, if x = 0 and x = y, then y = 0. What was the question? Oh, right. So if y = 0 then that means we get zero free pi-- oh ... oh, well this sucks.