There was a terrifying hot dog creature at the Duke game

I’ve actually seen a hot dog statue like this before -- and it is an object, not a person in costume (and a horrifying Google search) -- but that was outside a restaurant, not on the court at a Duke game. It’s time to point some things out and ask some questions.

Is the hot dog suicidal? Is it covering itself in condiments to increase its appeal to humans and hasten its demise via eating?

OR is the hot dog aware of the burgeoning anti-ketchup-on-hot-dogs movement, and dressing itself with the intention of repelling hungry humans? Note it’s not going for the mustard.

OR does it plan to eat itself? It is licking its lips, but perhaps just out of concentration, not hunger.

The hot dog has fingernails. The hot dog has eyebrows.

You can find the hot dog on sale for a very reasonable price if you know where to look.

The hot dog uses its non-face end as a sort of kickstand. Is that its penis? It seems like it would be its penis.

With that in mind: The hot dog is wearing socks and shoes, but no other clothes except for an American flag napkin/cape.

The hot dog does not have a bellybutton, so I do not believe it is a placental mammal despite its human-like features.

Or wait maybe the twisty part at its lower end is the bellybutton and its genitals are hidden somewhere? I’m getting confused and upset.

What would happen if we let the hot dog off its wheely platform thing?

If anyone can put me in touch with the hot dog or the hot dog’s agent, please let me know.