Problem: You own the jersey of a player on your favorite team. That player leaves the team, perhaps under ignominious circumstances, and suddenly you can’t wear your jersey anymore.
There is now an actual product for modifying old sports jersey nameplates
Because masking tape and markers just won’t do.
Solution: Modify your jersey to broadcast a message other than the obsolete “I support [player], who is on [team]”. Fans have been doing this forever, usually by just slapping some tape over the team name or nameplate. The guy leaves, you cover his name up with “LOSER” or “TRAITOR”/“TRADER” or something, and now your jersey has a whole new vibe. You could get fancier if your team has cycled through numerous quarterbacks or if a kicker, say, famously missed a kick wide right, but the modifications can generally be made with materials from home.
OR CAN THEY!?
"The Name Changer" is "THE ORIGINAL PROFESSIONAL SPORTS JERSEY NAME REPLACEMENT SYSTEM" and it's gonna make your hate-jersey look legit as hell. The concept is simple: Instead of Sharpie'd masking tape, The Name Changer will send you a customized nameplate in the color and style of your team's jersey.
But what hilarious alternative to the departed player’s actual surname should you choose? The kind folks at The Name Changer make some suggestions:
- “VIK QUEENS”
- “TAIL-GATOR”
- “SUPERBOWL CHAMPS” (some of these are positive?)
-“PICK-7” (?????)
- “WATERBOY/WATER GIRL” (would like to know the thinking behind that space)
- a bunch of jokes from The League
- “PE-WEE”
- “MULAKA” (for Greeks who can’t spell?)
-“HABBS SUCK,” (for French people who can’t spell?)
-“SEPT OR BUST”
- “MR./MRS. AWESOME”
-“BLATO” (???)
-“PROSPECT”
- “PROSPECT” again
-“THE COMISH”
- “USLESS”
... and so many more.
Yeah. Lots of misspelled or just bizarre options to choose from. But, you ask, what font do these come in?
STUPID QUESTION. Obviously they come in the most traditional of sports fonts, the one named ATHLETIC.
Anyway, good luck with this business venture, The Name Changer. I will think of you next time my favorite player gets traded and I change his name to “SAVE BLOWER.”
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