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Come Fan with UsWednesday, July 1, 2026

Bud Selig is already announcing the 20014 MLB Draft

The Draft jumped ahead 18,000 years between picks.

Rich Schultz

Man, the MLB Draft has been going on for a while, but we’re winding down! Ooh, the pick is in. Take it away, Bud Selig:

Wait what?

[looks outside]

[outside is an ashy hellscape]

[turns back to TV]

“And with the 34th pick in the first round of the 20014 MLB Draft, the New St. Louis Mutant Horned Cardinals select ... PITCHERBOT 4000 from the Sector H-14 Nebular Academy.”

[Selig retreats to cryogenic chamber to slumber for another thousand years]

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