Aaron Harang’s beard is a modern marvel

Aaron Harang’s beard, guys. Look above at how readily it flexes to accentuate his expression. Look how it straightens perfectly at rest:

It look likes a watermark, like you shouldn’t be able to see it unless you hold it up to the light.

It looks like someone outlined his face with a big orange pen, then tried in vain to erase it.

It looks like someone hit “select all” on his face, then did a drop shadow effect.

And we haven’t even discussed the chin region:

It’s horrifyingly straight. Like, I’m pretty sure he pressed an actual ruler up to his lower lip then shaved around it. I am appalled and perplexed and fascinated. I want to study this beard. I want to ask it questions.