These dudes threw a bunch of Utah college football helmets to the bottom of a lake to get covered with quagga mussels, which are also known as the ‘STD of the sea’

Okay, so:

#STDoftheSea is apparently a real nickname for the quagga mussel.

Okay, so:

Quagga mussels are freshwater mussels -- so named because they are semi-striped like the extinct relative of the zebra -- that are causing a lot of trouble in lakes all over the country. They’re an invasive species, messing up the ecosystems and food chains of the lakes in which they reside by eating everything and pooping their mussel poop everywhere. They’ll also stick themselves onto all sorts of manmade necessities -- pipes and pumps and boats and docks and stuff like that. They’re a huge pain in the ass for everyone, and they spread very rapidly.

Okay, so:

To demonstrate the threat quagga mussels pose to Lake Powell in Utah, and to advise lake-goers on how to avoid spreading them, the gentlemen above decided to chuck 3 local college football helmets -- Utah, Utah State, and Brigham Young -- into the lake. That wouldn’t be enough, so they decided to discuss the exercise as if it were a football game, and do so with remarkable seriousness. The host tries very hard to make it seem like one team’s helmet might have an advantage against the “aggressive spread offense” of the mussels, but the other dude’s responses amount to: nah, the mussels are gonna swarm pretty much everything.

Anyway, enjoy Utah-Utah State, and remember to scrub your boats.