NCAA bracket predictions 2014: Picking the tournament based on songs
Welcome to the only foolproof bracket selection methodology: a subjective selection of songs about cities.
Chris Brunskill
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.
Hello and welcome to bracket predictions. If you're reading this, congratulations! You've found the only 100% correct picks on the entire Internet.*
The way I’m determining each matchup in the entire bracket is simple: which school’s home city or state has had the better song written about it? Sounds simple, right? Well, let’s find out just how terrible an idea this is!** Enjoy the FOOLPROOF MUSIC BRACKET.
FIRST FOUR
Mt. St. Mary’s vs. Albany
Songs: “The Devil To Pay“ by Iced Earth (only known song to mention Emmitsburg) vs. ”The Misty Coast of Albany” by T. Rex
Winner: “The Misty Coast of Albany”
Iowa vs. Tennessee
Winner: This is a SHOCKINGLY close matchup but I’m going with “Iowa”
Cal Poly vs. Texas Southern University
Songs: “San Luis Obispo“ by Scissor Sisters vs. ”Houston” by Soul Coughing
Winner: “San Luis Obispo”
NC State vs. Xavier
Songs: “I Gotchoo“ by Bowling For Soup vs. ”Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood
Winner: Whoever isn’t Bowling For Soup
SECOND ROUND
South
(1) Florida vs. (16) Albany
Songs: “The State of Florida” by Less Than Jake vs. “The Misty Coast of Albany”
Winner: “The State of Florida”
(8) Colorado vs. (9) Pittsburgh
Songs: “Colorado“ by Linda Ronstadt vs. ”A Good Man Is Hard to Find (In Pittsburgh)” by Bruce Springsteen
Winner: BRUUUUUUCE
(5) VCU vs. (12) SF Austin
Songs: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down“ by The Band vs. ”The Kid” by Ben Nichols
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(4) UCLA vs. (13) Tulsa
Songs: Pick basically any song about LA vs. I dunno, “Tulsa Turnaround” by Kenny Rogers
Winner: UCLA
(6) Ohio State vs. (11) Dayton
Songs: “Uptown“ by Drake feat. Bun B and Lil’ Wayne vs. ”Dayton, Ohio” by Randy Newman
Winner: “Uptown”
(3) Syracuse vs. (14) Western Michigan
Winner: “Syracuse”
(7) New Mexico vs. (10) Stanford
Songs: “New Mexico“ by Johnny Cash vs. ”Palo Alto” by Radiohead
Winner: “New Mexico”
(2) Kansas vs. (15) Eastern Kentucky
Songs: “The Devil Came From Kansas“ by Procol Harum vs. ”You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive” by Brad Paisley
Winner: “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
East
(1) Virginia vs. (16) Coastal Carolina
Songs: “Virginia“ by Clipse vs. ”Coast of Carolina” by Telekinesis
Winner: “Virginia”
(8) Memphis vs. (9) George Washington
Songs: “Walking in Memphis“ vs. ”George Washington”
Winner: GEORGE WASHINGTON
(5) Cincinnati vs. (12) Harvard
Songs: The theme song from “WKRP in Cincinnati“ vs. ”Cambridge” by Motion City Soundtrack
Winner: “WKRP in Cincinnati”
(4) Michigan State vs. (13) Delaware
Songs: “The Freshmen“ (potentially about college) by the Verve Pipe (from East Lansing) vs. ”Delaware” by Perry Como
Winner: “The Freshmen”
(6) North Carolina vs. (11) Providence
Songs: “Raise Up“ by Petey Pablo vs. ”Providence, RI” by Nickel Eye
Winner: “Raise Up”
(3) Iowa State vs. (14) NC Central
Songs: “Iowa“ by Slipknot vs. ”Welcome to Durham” by Little Brother feat. Big Daddy Kane
Winner: “Welcome to Durham”
(7) UConn vs. (10) St. Joseph’s
Songs: “Flat Line“ by Young Chris vs. ”St. Joseph’s” by the Avett Brothers
Winner: “Flat Line”
(2) Villanova vs. (15) Milwaukee
Songs: “Villanova Junction“ by Jimi Hendrix vs. ”What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out of Me)” by Jerry Lee Lewis
Winner: Real close call here, but the Milwaukee song has “loser” IN THE TITLE, so “Villanova Junction”
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(1) Arizona vs. (16) Weber State
Songs: “Comin’ From Tucson“ by Limbeck vs. ”The Beehive State” by Harry Nilsson
Winner: “Comin’ From Tucson”
(8) Gonzaga vs. (9) Oklahoma State
Songs: “Jolene“ by Zac Brown Band vs. ”Okie From Muskogee” by Merle Haggard
Winner: “Okie From Muskogee”
(5) Oklahoma vs. (12) North Dakota State
Songs: “Oklahoma“ by The Call vs. ”Fargo, North Dakota” by Carter Burwell
Winner: “Oklahoma”
(4) San Diego State vs. (13) New Mexico State
Songs: “Booyaka 619“ by P.O.D. vs. ”Las Cruces Jail” by Two Gallants
Winner: “Booyaka 619,” inexplicably
(6) Baylor vs. (11) Nebraska
Songs: “Busted in Baylor County“ by Shooter Jennings vs. ”Nebraska” by Bruce Springsteen
Winner: “Nebraska”
(3) Creighton vs. (14) Louisiana
Songs: “Omaha“ by Waylon Jennings vs. ”Born On the Bayou” by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Winner: “Omaha”
(7) Oregon vs. (10) BYU
Songs: “Oregon Trail“ by Woody Guthrie vs. ”The Red Hills of Utah” by Marty Robbins
Winner: “Oregon Trail”
(2) Wisconsin vs. (15) American
Songs: “Wisconsin“ by Bon Iver vs. ”Real American” by Rick Derringer
Winner: “Wisconsin”
Midwest
(1) Wichita State vs. (16) Cal Poly
Songs: “Wichita Lineman” by Glen Campbell vs. “San Luis Obispo”
Winner: “Wichita Lineman”
(8) Kentucky vs. (9) Kansas State
Songs: “Kentucky Rain“ by Elvis Presley vs. ”Kansas” by Gucci Mane feat. Jim Jones
Winner: “Kentucky Rain”
(5) St. Louis vs. (12) Xavier
Songs: “St. Louie” by Nelly vs. “Jesus Take the Wheel”
Winner: “St. Louie,” which will essentially be a proxy for “Hot in Herre”
(4) Louisville vs. (13) Manhattan
Songs: “Louisville“ by Dwight Yoakam vs. ”Marching Bands of Manhattan” by Death Cab For Cutie
Winner: “Marching Bands of Manhattan”
(6) UMass vs. (11) Iowa
Songs: “Massachusetts Afternoon” by the Blue Jean Committee vs. “Iowa”
Winner: “Massachusetts Afternoon”
(3) Duke vs. (14) Mercer
Songs: “Carolina in My Mind“ by James Taylor vs. ”Walkin’ Back to Georgia” by Jim Croce
Winner: “Walkin’ Back to Georgia”
(7) Texas vs. (10) Arizona State
Songs: “If You’re Gonna Play in Texas“ by Alabama vs. ”Arizona” by Scorpions
Winner: “Arizona”
(2) Michigan vs. (15) Wofford
Songs: “Anne Arbour” by Get Up Kids vs. lol is wofford seriously a real thing
Winner: “Anne Arbour”
Higher Education
THIRD ROUND
South
(1) Florida vs. (9) Pittsburgh
Songs: “The State of Florida” vs. “A Good Man Is Hard to Find (In Pittsburgh)”
Winner: “The State of Florida”
(5) VCU vs. (4) UCLA
Songs: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” vs. oh, let’s say “L.A. Woman” by the Doors
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(6) Ohio State vs. (3) Syracuse
Songs: “Uptown” vs. “Syracuse”
Winner: “Uptown”
(7) New Mexico vs. (15) Eastern Kentucky
Songs: “New Mexico” vs. “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
Winner: “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
East
(1) Virginia vs. (9) George Washington
Songs: “Virginia” vs. “George Washington”
Winner: “Virginia”
(5) Cincinnati vs. (4) Michigan State
Songs: “WKRP in Cincinnati” vs. “The Freshmen”
Winner: “WKRP in Cincinnati”
(6) North Carolina vs. (14) NC Central
Songs: “Raise Up” vs. “Welcome to Durham”
Winner: “Raise Up”
(7) Uconn vs. (2) Villanova
Songs: “Flat Line” vs. “Villanova Junction”
Winner: “Villanova Junction”
West
(1) Arizona vs. (9) Oklahoma State
Songs: “Comin’ From Tucson vs. “Okie From Muskogee”
Winner: “Okie From Muskogee”
(5) Oklahoma vs. (4) San Diego State
Songs: “Oklahoma” vs. “Booyaka 619”
Winner: “Oklahoma,” but it was shockingly close
(11) Nebraska vs. (3) Creighton
Songs: “Nebraska” vs. “Omaha”
Winner: “Omaha”
(7) Oregon vs. (2) Wisconsin
Songs: “Oregon Trail” vs. “Wisconsin”
Winner: “Wisconsin”
Midwest
(1) Wichita State vs. (8) Kentucky
Songs: “Wichita Lineman” vs. “Kentucky Rain”
Winner: “Kentucky Rain”
(5) St. Louis vs. (13) Manhattan
Songs: “St. Louie” vs. “Marching Bands of Manhattan”
Winner: “St. Louie”
(6) UMass vs. (14) Mercer
Songs: “Massachusetts Afternoon” vs. “Walkin’ Back to Georgia”
Winner: “Massachusetts Afternoon”
(10) Arizona State vs. (2) Michigan
Songs: “Arizona” vs. “Anne Arbour”
Winner: “Anne Arbour”
SWEET SIXTEEN
South
(1) Florida vs. (5) VCU
Songs: “The State of Florida” vs. “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(6) Ohio State vs. (15) Eastern Kentucky
Songs: “Uptown” vs. “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
Winner: “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
East
(1) Virginia vs. (5) Cincinnati
Songs: “Virginia” vs. “WKRP in Cincinnati”
Winner: “Virginia”
(6) North Carolina vs. (2) Villanova
Songs: “Raise Up” vs. “Villanova Junction”
Winner: “Raise Up”
West
(9) Oklahoma State vs. (5) Oklahoma
Songs: “Okie From Muskogee” vs. “Oklahoma”
Winner: “Okie From Muskogee”
(3) Creighton vs. (2) Wisconsin
Songs: “Omaha” vs. “Wisconsin”
Winner: “Omaha”
Midwest
(8) Kentucky vs. (5) St. Louis
Songs: “Kentucky Rain” vs. “St. Louie”
Winner: “Kentucky Rain”
(6) UMass vs. (2) Michigan
Songs: “Massachusetts Afternoon” vs. “Anne Arbour”
Winner: “Massachusetts Afternoon”
March Madness: Fill out your bracket Tournament predictions
ELITE EIGHT
(5) VCU vs. (15) Eastern Kentucky
Songs: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” vs. “You’ll Never Leave Harlan Alive”
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(1) Virginia vs. (6) North Carolina
Songs: “Virginia” vs. “Raise Up”
Winner: “Raise Up”
(9) Oklahoma State vs. (3) Creighton
Songs: “Okie From Muskogee” vs. “Omaha”
Winner: “Okie From Muskogee”
(8) Kentucky vs. (6) UMass
Songs: “Kentucky Rain” vs. “Massachusetts Afternoon”
Winner: “Kentucky Rain”
FINAL FOUR
(5) VCU vs. (6) North Carolina
Songs: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” vs. “Raise Up”
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
(9) Oklahoma State vs. (8) Kentucky
Songs: “Okie From Muskogee” vs. “Kentucky Rain”
Winner: “Kentucky Rain”
NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP
(5) VCU vs. (8) Kentucky
Songs: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” vs. “Kentucky Rain”
Winner: “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down”
NATIONAL CHAMPION: VCU
*i have no idea what i’m doing
**this is just such a bad idea my gosh
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