College football bowl game watchability index: Poinsettias, Beef ‘O’ Brady’s, Little Caesar’s, oh my

Hello, again. It has been a little while since we left off. Rather than throw you little nibbles during the season of gluttony, I decided to break off a feast of sheer watchability from the appetizer course of bowl season.

As always, the games are given Schnellenberger Pipes based on a variety of things: how great the sponsor commercials and product placements are, the location of the bowl, the fans, the game itself, as well as colors and logos and such.

Shall we?

The first issue with these weekday games is the timing. We’re knee deep in trying to finish out actual work so we can disappear into a haze of cookies and hangovers, and as much as college football is a great escape, a defensive showdown between two niche teams is a lot like going to an Antlers show on a Wednesday night when you have an 8 a.m. conference call the next morning. Sure, if you haven’t been to a show in awhile, you’re going to go, but if you have a festival coming up, you might save your energy for the long haul.

Also, this BYU commercial was a little strange:

The Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl is the high gravity Steel Reserve of bowl games. You know it’s not going to end well if you have it. But you consciously choose to welcome it (and the ensuing consequences) into your life anyway. We should all know better. When the most interesting thing about the game was arguably an abbreviation battle, that’s saying something.

Oh, and the turf itself was an abomination:

If Beef ‘O’ Brady’s wants to find its way into the hearts of football fans everywhere, it needs an angle. The Potato Bowl was an almost unwatchable game, but it was still a lot of fun. This one wasn’t much of anything.

Now we’re talking. ULL and ECU fans make a lot of noise and drink a lot of spirits. They also know how to tailgate. This game was fun from the get-go. The Cajuns threatened to bust this thing open early, but the Pirates punched back, making this a highlight-filled performance with some big numbers.

Be honest, would you really be upset if every bowl was played in New Orleans?

Boise State is tired of playing in the Las Vegas Bowl. Everyone else is tired of watching Boise State playing in the Las Vegas Bowl. I was just tired. Despite this game getting some much-needed drama in the late minutes, with Boise hitting a field goal (oh, the irony!) to go up 2 with just a smattering of seconds remaining, the rest of this one was rough.

And yes, I did fall asleep in the third quarter. But not before seeing Brent Musburger cranking that lawn mower:

I woke up in the fourth to see the Broncos in a position to win and I didn’t feel like I missed anything. Boise State wins a lot of football games. They deserve better than this.

The one thing I kept thinking about when I was at church in snowy Ohio was I would actually rather be in Hawai’i. So there’s that. But it takes real dedication to pass up Home Alone, Die Hard, A Christmas Story and/or any number of other holiday movies that were on at the same time (including Starship Troopers!) to instead watch June Jones football.

And this happened:

Luckily, SMU made it relatively quick and painless so we could all get our egg nog on.

Solid game from a couple of entertaining teams. Late game drama, a chance at OT that didn’t happen because in the goshdarned pizza bowl you have to play for the goshdarned win.

We had a powerful pregame speech from WKU interim coach Lance Guidry:

The Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl twitter account accurately captured both Little Caesar’s and the Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl attitude quite nicely:

Fitting, if not exactly delicious.

Check the national college football scoreboard right here, and look through SB Nation’s many excellent college football blogs to find your team’s community.