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Come Fan with UsTuesday, August 4, 2026

Marshall football’s strength coaches were insane, liked hitting each other with paddles

We are most definitely not Marshall, if being Marshall involves getting paddled by actively-on-fire pieces of wood.

Chuck Cook-US PRESSWIRE

Some football coaches like to do crazy stuff to get their team amped up before football games. Marshall’s football coaches like to LIGHT DAMN PADDLES ON FIRE WITH THEIR BREATH AND SMACK EACH OTHER ON THE BACK WITH THEM HARD ENOUGH THAT THEY SNAP IN HALF HOLY CRAP WTF:

If you initiated into a fraternity in college, chances are you got a little decorative wooden paddle, with your fraternity’s Greek letters, your name and your class year on it. If you looked on the back of that paddle, you’ll see a disclaimer, basically saying “AYO DON’T HIT EACH OTHER WITH THE DAMN PADDLE THAT’S A REALLY DUMB AND STUPID IDEA.”

It’s clear that Marshall’s coaches did not read that disclaimer.

Apparently, this is a tradition:

Underrated aspect: the way the guy who hits the first guy with the paddle celebrates for, like, half a second, then turns around to get smacked himself in the back with a paddle.

Sadly, the motivational tactics didn’t work: Marshall lost both of these games, to Tulsa and Ohio. Note that neither of these coaches are currently employed by the Thundering Heard: Scott Wilks, the firebreather, is now on staff at Hofstra, while Joe Miday, the guy getting wallopped, is now at Western Kentucky, because OF COURSE BOBBY PETRINO HIRED A DUDE WHO LIKES HAVING FLAMING PADDLES BROKEN ON HIS BACK.

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