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Come Fan with UsFriday, August 7, 2026

Michigan offensive line purchases a hog named Dr. Hamlet

It’s both the most Big Ten thing and most Michigan thing that’s ever happened.

More than any other position group in football, the offensive line must work as a cohesive unit. Many offensive lines, especially lines that are replacing players lost to graduation or the NFL draft, find a bonding activity for the offseason. Some offensive lines go bowling, some get the same summer job.

The Michigan Wolverines' offensive line is replacing three starters from a year ago, all on the interior of the line where coordination is most important, so bonding activities might be even more relevant than usual. Of course, Michigan Men are a peculiar lot, and these Michigan Men found an odd way to gel: They bought a pig.

Lewan had previously promised “the most exciting thing of all time.“ I guess this is it, in which case he totally delivered.

Purchasing pork straight from the farm is probably the most Big Ten thing the Wolverines, or any other team, could have done. All eight Big Ten states are among the top 14 pork producing states in the country (ironically, Michigan is last among those eight). Giving the pig a doctorate and naming him after a Shakespearean tragedy is quintessentially Michigan.

No word yet on who is going to take care of the pig, or where the pig is going to stay. I would assume left tackle Taylor Lewan would board the boar, but he’s leaving for the NFL after this season, and having a pet is having a responsibility. Besides, methinks Lewan’s ladyfriend may protest too much. One of the team’s three underclassmen interior linemen could take the pig, though, ensuring it has a home for the foreseeable future. If Lloyd Carr was still coach, he would have it slaughtered and put on ten pizzas to distribute to the team at training table.

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