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Cal coach praises his QB for being unlike Jameis Winston, at least in one way

Welcome to your Wednesday morning, college football!

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The only site you'll ever need. Football Study Hall rolls out team-by-team advanced statistical profiles, updated each week. You can go ahead and get rid of every other bookmark you've ever made. Here's the full page of rankings, which includes each FBS team's stats page.

It's Berkeley. There are far better things to steal. Cal coach Sonny Dykes tells reporters that he loves quarterback Jared Goff because "he's never stolen crab legs," among other things. That's, of course, a reference to Jameis Winston.

After a near-disaster against Jacksonville State and a blowout loss to LSU, Auburn is changing horses. Head coach Gus Malzahn announced Tuesday that he is benching junior quarterback Jeremy Johnson in favor of redshirt freshman Sean White. White lacks experience, but certainly had the pedigree.

Easy E. The easy fix for Ohio State’s ailing offense? Give the ball to Ezekiel Elliott already.

Still less objectionable than Rutgers. The Big Ten, which is implementing a requirement that its teams play a Power 5 opponent in non-conference each season, is issuing exemptions to allow its teams to play Notre Dame, BYU, Army and ... UConn?

He, uh, meant Brazil? Two TCU players are arrested for punching a student and stealing his beer. TCU coach Gary Patterson responded by saying, “It’s not even close to what happened south of here.“ That either means Baylor or Nicaragua. Probably Baylor.

The Selection Committee has convened, and at least one member has replaced Ohio State with its primary Big Ten challenger: Northwestern.

Of course, the Cats have the nation’s top scoring defense and Anthony Walker, the best linebacker you’ve never heard of.

Hotter than the Golden Corral nacho cheese fountain. The first Hot Seat Watch of the season is out, and the expectations might have caught up with Bret Bielema. Meanwhile, Kyle Flood is calling headhunters.

Like Miami’s flyers, only on land. An Idaho fan is posting flyers calling for the firing of Paul Petrino that refer to Paul’s brother Bobby as “bitch ass.”

Run the dang podcast, BillBill! PODCAST AIN’T PLAYED NOBODY talks Georgia, who ain’t played nobody.

The signs will all reference Rik Smits. Should ESPN College GameDay go to Bloomington, Indiana next week? Can you give a good reason why it shouldn’t? Didn’t think so.

It has better BBQ, at least. Bowling Green coach Dino Babers, who has coached against Memphis and Tennessee, says Memphis might be better than Tennessee.

This is cool: the son of Texas A&M’s defensive coordinator breaks down Aggie plays via Twitter videos.

Hookin' em all over again. Texas interim AD Mike Perrin has done exactly what he needed to do: Ask himself what Steve Patterson would do and do the opposite. Perrin's effect, and the current state of the football program, is examined by Barking Carnival.

OBC: Oh, he’s Back with Cheese. It’s Tuesday, and South Carolina lost again, so Hatin’ Ass Spurrier is back again!

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