I think your conference is actually bad: Week 12 college football power rankings

We need to change the way the Playoff works.

The Big Ten is making this whole CFP thing messy and you may not realize it. I have a way to make things definitely more complicated but definitely more fun, and it’s directly related to this week’s top dawg conference.

Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State, and Wisconsin are each in their own rights pretty good (I think). All will likely be in at least the committee’s top 10 this week, if not the top eight. Maybe the College Football Playoff will expand to eight teams soon, but it isn’t happening this season. I would like a college football shadow government to conduct a mini-playoff and give us what I want: the Big Ten directly sacrificing someone to Alabama (that’s why this is a race for No. 4, we need a direct alignment for a CFB semifinal).

We’ve already got a semi-semifinal this weekend though with Ohio State, but no matter who wins between Ohio State and Michigan, it won’t be neat and tidy for the other three teams. I have a simple solution (OK, it’s not really that simple).

Scores this week: Michigan beat Indiana, 20-10 (snow imo). Ohio State beat Michigan State, 17-16 (better 2-point try this time though, Sparty). Wisconsin beat Purdue, 49-20 (T.J. Watt, J.J. Watt blah blah blah). Penn State beat Rutgers, 39-0 (cancel Rutgers). Nebraska beat Maryland, 28-7 (and you can’t fool the Huskers even if you tried, and the Terps did). Iowa beat Illinois, 28-0 (this is a football game that occurred). Minnesota beat Northwestern, 29-12 (this is also a football game that occurred).

Florida beat LSU, 16-10. They have been maliciously dunking on the Tigers ever since the final gun. They did so here, here, and here. No other words will go in this space to summarize the conference’s day.

Other scores this week: Alabama beat Chattanooga, 31-3 (I imagine Nick Saban was mad about something after it). Tennessee beat Mizzou, 63-37 (it’s one of the weirdest box scores of the year). Arkansas beat Mississippi State, 58-42 (NovemBERT!) Vanderbilt beat Ole Miss, 38-17 (Derek Mason wore a bulletproof vest and it’s a metaphor because you can’t touch him now). Texas A&M beat UTSA, 23-10 (why was this game so close?) Kentucky beat Austin Peay, 49-13 (I honestly love Kentucky fans because the team is bowl eligible but they got a really good basketball recruit so nobody cares). Auburn beat Alabama A&M, 55-0 (y’all let Jeremy Johnson cook). Georgia beat Louisiana-Lafayette, 35-21 (kinda running out of stuff to say about SEC-SoCon Saturday’s crap games). South Carolina beat Western Carolina, 44-31 (link).

Well hey there, Oregon. It took three full quarters and parts of a fourth, but the Ducks showed up and not a moment too soon, beating Utah, 30-28.

Then your man Mark Helfrich went for two, and showed that he could outsmart everyone by avoiding disaster.

Perhaps you stopped paying attention to Stanford but that was a mistake because the Cardinal seem to have righted the ship. They beat Cal, 45-31, the old (2015) fashion way: 300 all-purpose yards from Christian McCaffrey. It goes to show that teams change over the course of a season. We dead and buried both of ‘em, but they haven’t quit.

Other scores this week: USC beat UCLA, 36-14 (pencil in the Trojans as your preseason No. 1 next year because it’s totally gonna happen). Colorado beat Washington State, 38-24 (lessens the stakes for the Apple Cup slightly, but it’ll still gonna be a good time). Washington beat Arizona State, 44-18 (overcoming defensive injuries to shut the Sun Devils down, and showing the playoff hopes aren’t dead yet). Oregon State beat Arizona, 42-17 (and Rich Rodriguez did whatever this is on the sideline).

I am upset at Louisville’s offensive protection for letting Houston be rude to Lamar Jackson in the 36-10 loss.

Jackson is one of our most prized natural resources and we cannot waste him. He is the Heisman fossil fuel that can power us for years to come, or until the NFL’s corporate greed uses him for nefarious purposes.

But while one ACC team was toppled, another stood tall. Clemson beat Wake Forest, 35-13. They’re going back to the ACC Championship, but you likely don’t care about that. You would much rather watch the Tigers eat doughnuts and dance to rap music. Here that is:

Other scores this week: Florida State beat Syracuse, 45-14 (and Dalvin Cook cements his place in school history). Georgia Tech beat Virginia, 31-17 (bees finishing strong this season too). Miami beat NC State, 27-13 (the Wolfpack, however, are not). Boston College beat UConn, 30-0 (that’s bad, UConn, really bad). Pitt beat Duke, 56-14 (wyd, Blue Devils?) North Carolina beat Citadel, 41-7 (at least the uniforms in this game were drop dead gorgeous).

So uhh, what was that you were saying about disrespect, West Virginia? The Mountaineers got rolled, 56-28, at home against Oklahoma. It also snowed, which threw us all for a loop (especially ESPN’s Sam Ponder).

In other news, Texas Tech got absolutely lambasted by Iowa State (yes, Iowa State), 66-10. Sources tell me the conference is considering more radical realignment possibilities within the Big 12:

Other scores this week: Kansas beat Texas, 24-21 (yeah, that’s it for Charlie Strong). Kansas State beat Baylor, 42-21 (Bill Snyder put it down on the Bears). Oklahoma State beat TCU, 56-28 (and Mike Gundy isn’t here for your facts).

And finally ...

***INDEPENDENTS WATCH***