Paste the following into your team site’s most recent thread about your school’s dream coach. It will probably be titled [TODAY]‘S OFFICIAL [DREAM COACH] THREAD #14.
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Drop the following bombs, wait a few hours, and then announce, “A buddy of mine says it’s basically a done deal. Keeping it quiet for now. Just dotting the last i’s. Already assembling a staff of BIG names.” You’ll bask in clout.
Photo by Erik S. Lesser/Getty Images
[Dream Coach] and [spouse] already own a home in the [College Town] area, NW I believe. They bought it within the last 12 months. His satellite provider now sends his bills to a [College Town] address. [Extended attempt to nail down Dream Coach’s exact physical locations over the previous 24 hours. This can include flight tracking, tips from relatives, sources in real estate, A Buddy Of Mine, doctored photographs, social media Zaprudering, or whatever else the situation demands.]
[Media member who graduated from Alma Mater U] said he talked to [Alma Mater U] today. [Dream Coach] is No. 1 on the list. [Dream Coach] is interested and has land in [College Town]. [Alma Mater U] is willing to pay big bucks. He ended it by guaranteeing that this was true and [Dream Coach] would be in [College Town]. Beforehand, all the others said no to [Dream Coach] coming for reasons that were stupid. (He’s happy in [current, better job], $$$, etc.)
I emailed [media member who graduated from Alma Mater U] after that comment, and he replied that he did talk to someone very close to the situation and that [Dream Coach] is No. 1 on [our athletic director’s] list. He said if he were asked his real opinion, he would put his money on [Dream Coach] to be [Alma Mater U]‘s coach. If [Dream Coach] is not interested, then he would have already came out and said it.
Has anyone heard this yet? Scroll down to the [radio show by different local media member] and listen to the entire interview. I was speechless when I listened to this. If [local media member] is at all credible, then we have a chance at getting [Dream Coach].
Google “[Dream Coach] [Alma Mater U] coach” and narrow it down to the last 24 hours. We aren’t the only ones talking about it. It’s gathering momentum everywhere.
So I wonder if [Dream Coach] will be at the game? If he is, we all need to chant his name and try to woo him. I just hope that wouldn’t hurt [Current Coach’s] feelings, but I want [Dream Coach] bad.
Pay him what he wants. If [our richest booster] alone can give a GIFT of over [number] million dollars to [Alma Mater U], then money should not be an issue. How anyone thinks we can’t afford [Dream Coach] with the donors we have and the TV contract money we will be receiving is beyond me.
Why leave [current, better job]? He knows that team is not good enough to win [more], and he is on the verge of having to rebuild down there. His defense is [bad now], and they have never had an offense worth a crap. [Suddenly bad] defense + mediocre offense = trouble in the [current, better job]. It would take years to rebuild that.
For those of you who think [Dream Coach] is so loved and happy in [current, better job], look at this thread from their board: [link to Fire Dream Coach thread]. We need to bump that thread. Convert as many [Alma Mater U complainers] to [Dream Coach’s better job complainers] as possible and really turn up the heat. That should make [Alma Mater U] even more desirable.
He is probably looking for a soft spot to land where he would be revered. [Alma Mater U] would buy out his current contract. Dang, I do hope this comes to pass. How many recruits would want to come to [College Town] and play for [Dream Coach]?????
With our [adjective] facilities, fan base, tradition, and now a coach with proof of success, recruits will be at his front door asking to play for [Alma Mater U]. He is an extremely fiery guy who won’t put up with lazy BS and players not living up to their potential. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited. [Dream Coach] is PERFECT for the job.
If the rumors do hold true and [a former head coach and another famous coach] come on as OC and DC with [Dream Coach], I think [the former head coach] would do most of the recruiting and all of the [position] coaching.
I feel like we’re just grasping at straws with the whole idea of actually landing a whale like [Dream Coach] ... but man, wouldn’t it be sweet.
This post was based on comments in a VolNation.com thread about Jon Gruden in 2008. There were more threads in 2010, 2012, 2017, and other years.
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