WMU head coach applications ranged from a 149-page book to ‘will work for cheeseburgers’

After P.J Fleck decided to row the boat to Minnesota, Western Michigan hired Tim Lester as its new head coach on Jan. 13.

But Lester wasn’t the only person interested in the job. To get a better idea who else was in the running, we filed an Open Records Request to Western Michigan for all resumes and supplemental documentation sent to the school in the eight days its job was open.

We got back hundreds of pages. Here are some of the fun things we learned.

Lots of coaches sent in resumes, references, plans, and more. Some were high school coaches in the Midwest, head coaches at Division II or lower programs, or relatively anonymous position coaches.

But those names included Jeff Quinn, the former head coach at Buffalo and current strength coach at Notre Dame, and Al Borges, who has coached basically everywhere. Former Wolverine running back and current Jacksonville Jaguars running backs coach Tyrone Wheatley applied.

Somebody sent in Sam Houston State head coach K.C. Keller’s Wikipedia page. We’re pretty sure it wasn’t Keller himself.

Others wrote in to suggest specific candidates, like former Syracuse head coach Scott Shafer, or former Michigan running back and current Syracuse running backs coach Mike Hart. Multiple (!) people wrote in to suggest former NFL head coach Jerry Glanville, who played football at a directional Michigan (Northern) once upon a time.

When you apply for a regular job, you send a resume, a cover letter, and maybe another document or two. But some coaching candidates send exceptionally detailed plans for the football program, covering everything from day-to-day schedules to recruiting philosophy to program rules.

Former WMU defensive coordinator Ed Pinkham sent a 26-page plan, highlighting his ability to administer “tough love” to players and “refocus” Fleck on occasion, with thoughts on who he’d hire as assistants.

Lester, the man who was actually hired, included a 38 page plan, covering discipline, football philosophy, and even this bit about having a Blue Collar Mentality:

We will be a team that enjoys working hard and is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Blue Collar people are not afraid to get dirty and muddy. Blue Collar people are reliable and resilient. Blue Collar people are accountable and consistent. We will be a Blue Collar team. in 2012, each of our players wore gas station attendant shirts to every game (an idea I took from Jim Harbaugh). We had dog tags with BCM on them. We asked what our players wanted on their conference championship rings, the answer was BCM. It is simple and explains how we play this great game.

Wheatley had by far the most comprehensive, including a 149-page document that touched on everything from how he would develop a strength and conditioning program, when he would recruit JUCO players, what phone calls he’d make in the first 30 days, and more. It’s a book.

Seriously.

Of course, that’s a far cry from the 300-page binder Al Golden used in his interview with Miami.

If you’d like to look through all the data yourself, you can. We’ve uploaded them here, here, and here. Lester’s proposal is on pages 1-38 in section 1. The entire dang Wheatley book starts on page 49 in section 2, and continues into section 3.

Below are my two favorite applications:

Hi there Kathy, in light of the recent move by PJ Fleck to leave Western to coach at Minnesota I would like to throw my hat in the ring for the current job opening at head coach. My football related accomplishments include being an all conference offensive tackle in high school, 3 fantasy football championships, a 12-3 record in Madden 15 online, and currently having 2nd place in the in-house rankings for Madden 15 between my four roommates. Hiring me would definitely be a gamble. I’ve been known to be a bit of a wild card but weren’t all the greats? God knows Woody Hayes was as unstable as a North Korean Nuke but I am very flexible, I’m not sure what the market salary is for a 19 year old head coach with almost no experience but I’m willing to settle for 1,300 dollars and a cheeseburger but that’s my absolute minimum. I truly believe I have what it takes to lead WMU to the playoffs and to a national title.

Just think of all the assistants you could hire if you’re only spending, oh, $1,309 on a head coach.

And our final one, I must begrudgingly admit, does make a good point about Woody Hayes.

Ms. Beauregard,

I’m reaching out to you on this fine January afternoon with a proposition so bold, it is guaranteed to knock your socks RIGHT off. Any potential candidates you have been giving consideration to fill the vacant head coach position is surely wrong, because I am the lone wolf that you want and need for the job, unless of course you have already been considering me.

With the departure of former head coach of football, Phillip Fleck, WMU is facing a serious blow. I can imagine that filling such a void is something that you and the university would like to handle delicately to maintain it’s ELITE integrity.

Now I’m sure you’re wondering about the couple things at this point, so let me just break it all down for you.

There is nobody else in this world that you are going to find who is more committed to excellence than me. If you don’t believe me just from reading this email, then rest assured that in 2015 I once waited outside of a Metro Detroit shoe retailer for two whole hours for a new pair of Yeezy sneakers. While I never actually got the shoes because they sold out after those two hours and I got in line considerably later than most people, the naysayers couldn’t keep me from the challenge. Believe me, I have tons of stories like this too, the commitment doesn’t stop at shoe trends.

But, REDACTED, how is this going to translate to results on the field?

Simple, I never give up and neither are the boys every night when they step on the field when the find out about how seriously I take my commitments.

My first order of business once you make the wide decision of hiring me, getting on the phone with ‘Bama and giving the students what they want by scheduling the first ever match-up with the Crimson Tide. A move as bold as this is going to bring in at least $1,000,000 from boosters in the first thirty minutes after the news breaks, guaranteed. The good news doesn’t stop there either, after i get off the phone with Saban, my next call is going right to the gophers for a prime time game where the world gets to see the boys in brown and gold make Minnesota look like a ragtag junior varsity football program from Cuba. Now, as you can imagine, I have my hands full with plenty of offers around the nation to mold the biggest and the best sports programs that you’ve ever seen. I even have a pending offer with my nephew’s house hockey team. So I’m sure you can imagine this offer for me expertise won’t exactly been on the table for much longer than a couple days.

Signed,

REDACTED

A proud ‘16 Bronco Alum

You heard the man. Western Michigan wants Bama.