What every SEC football coach looks like with long hair

Growing your hair out could give you an entirely different personality.

Whether it be due to a midlife crisis, some requirements for a job, or just because you simply don’t like having short hair, the more length your hair gets on the top of your head, the more your personality changes.

That can be said for almost every SEC coach as well. The month of July has given us some classic Twitter moments, but this SEC coaches graphic where they all have flowing hair might be near the top.

So what we’re going to do is analyze each one, and tell you what they would do for a living if they had the flowing locs.

Surprise! You could change anything about Nick Saban’s appearance outside of his facial structure and I will continue to say, “yeah, that’s a ball coach.”

He teaches kids the way of Wing Chun, but is unafraid of karate chopping your eight-year old in the throat if he doesn’t say “yes sir”.

He’s known in both the Destin and Hilton Head areas. You might not know exactly what he does for a living but the moment your relationship with your partner is on the rocks Beamer is taking her to the local Chilis for a 3 for $10.

Look man the first thing I thought of when I saw Kiffin with hair was Jason Earles so we’re gonna stick with that.

You can find him jamming out to “Rosanna” in his 2009 Honda Accord during his break times, just to unwind.

God gave Rex and Rob all the charisma, he gave Brian heartburn.

On days when he’s not touring with Irsay, he’s a guitar tutor who gets paid in Natty Lights.

“She took the kids, Bobby. She took the kids.”

You know he used to have CLASSICS with Samoa Joe and Christopher Daniels.

Look the health ratings might not be the best but he makes a MEAN sweet potato casserole.

He also sells his barbecue sauce at these contests, which is absolutely delicious.

You cannot tell me that he doesn’t look like if the creators of Wallace and Gromit made a movie about the life and times of Jesus Christ.

He just looks like a Gemstone, man. Like they have him doing cleanup after services so nobody sees him.

He can’t wait to tell you about the gnarly wave he hit a few days ago in Hawaii.

They do KISS covers, but only the pre-face paint era of KISS.

He and Richard Petty used to go to WAR at Talledega Speedway.

And now, a few extras, just because we can’t leave some out.

His entire personality is based off Nicolas Cage in Con Air.

This is the most pirate ass pirate that ever pirated. Captain Leach used to travel the coasts of Trinidad and Tobago, plundering for gold and writing everything he sees in a journal. RIP Mike Leach.

He also has a son on the team named Trevor, who plays shortstop but actually just wants to play video games but dammit Dan won’t stop making him field ground balls after school.

Harsin used to run with Shane Beamer back in the day, but has since settled down and started a family...so we think.

He just wants to get his shift over so he can get back to watching his television programs.

When that Holy Spirit gets him going he’s hard to stop.