Colin Montgomerie defends Sergio Garcia, George O’Grady in “fried chicken” flap

Colin Montgomerie just couldn’t keep his yap shut about those dumb clucks, Sergio Garcia and George O’Grady, could he?

Captain Doubtfire told Bernie McGuire on Friday that the flak over Garcia’s “fried chicken” comment and the European Tour chief’s racist support for Sergio was nothing more than “making a mountain out of a molehill.”

The facts are these: at an awards gala Tuesday night, Garcia enflamed his ongoing feud with Tiger Woods by saying if he were to invite his nemesis to dinner during the upcoming U.S. Open, he would serve him fried chicken.

Garcia’s demeaning insult, conjuring as it did vicious caricatures of African Americans gobbling down fried chicken and watermelon, earned the Spaniard nearly universal condemnation and he was forced to apologize twice. Then O’Grady, in defense of the indefensible, and apparently ignorant of the fact that it is no longer 1950, told the world that “most of Sergio’s friends happen to be colored athletes.” The usual mea culpa ensued.

Enter Mr. Montgomerie, who proffered pearls of wisdom after making the cut on the 2-over number at this week’s BMW PGA Championship, along with Garcia (1-under) while world No. 2 Rory McIlroy bounced out at 5-over. The pompous ass railed about political correctness run amok and added his own loutish “you say tomato, I say tomato” declaration to the international discourse.

Indeed, Monty offered one moronic bon mot after another. He went on about how the European Tour is one big happy family, that he “felt” for Garcia, and moaned that “we’re frightened to open our mouths in case we say something that isn’t kosher in 2013.”

And then he said (really, he did, according to McGuire): “George says colored, somebody says black, but who is to say who is right and wrong?”

To which one can only respond: Shut the hell up, you doltish gasbag!

The only sense the 31-time Euro Tour winner made was when he pledged (someone please hold him to it) to keep his lips sealed.

“If I asked at the next press conference I’ll have to say ‘sorry, no comment,’ and hope that is not offending anybody,” Montgomerie said. “You just can’t say a thing, can you?”

In your case, Monty, no, no, you can’t.