The sympathetic cutthroat

You know, with his head cocked like that and the expression he’s wearing, this old-time Pirates nodder seems to be looking sympathetically at the team’s fan base and thinking, “Twenty years of losing...These poor, poor people. I feel their pain, but only because I have a cutlass-induced gash on my cheek and an eye socket that got scorched by a deck gun misfire.”

With the way things are going in 2013, however, his countenance is bound to brighten.