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Come Fan with UsTuesday, June 23, 2026

Joe Thornton would really like scoring 4 goals in a game

Did Tomas Hertl’s fourth goal go too far? According to Joe, it didn’t go too far enough.

Not pictured: Jackin’ it.
Not pictured: Jackin’ it.
Not pictured: Jackin’ it.
Ezra Shaw
Bill Hanstock
Bill Hanstock is a writer, author and Emmy Award-winning producer. He began writing for SB Nation in 2011.

After Tomas Hertl scored his goal of the year with a between-the-legs shot, some stuffed-shirt hockey idiots got all up in arms about how disrespectful the whole thing was. Fear the Fin tipped us off to this incredible quote by Joe Thornton, as reported by The Province:

Hearing a question to Marleau about Hertl and whether he was showboating, Thornton said:
“Shut up, have you ever played the game?”
.
When the press turned his way, he then added:
“I’d have my cock out if I scored four goals. I’d have my cock out, stroking it.”

Joe Thornton: a man of simple pleasures. And unbelievable indecency.

Note to hockey: GIVE THORNTON THE PUCK.

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