Say what you will about Kenny Chesney’s music, or his status as the leading contemporary exponent of the distinctly American, noticeably rum-scented ideal of Sunburned Island Livin’. Seriously, go ahead and say it, because his music has nothing to do with the grave threat that Chesney presents to life in these United States. His albums -- among them 2008’s More Songs About Sloops And Sandals, 2010’s Cowboy Hats And Coconuts, 2011’s Tales From The Swim-Up Bar On A Carnival Cruise Ship and 2013’s Boating While Intoxicated -- are what they are, and are harmless enough. But this personable-seeming hat aficionado is not harmless. Far from it.
Kenny Chesney is at the World Series, chaos sure to follow
America’s foremost exponent of chilled-out island livin’ is at Fenway for Game 6 of the World Series. Destruction will follow in his wake, as usual.
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We’ve seen this time and again, as Chesney’s shows have devolved into excuses for idiots to speak their minds to security guards and lay waste to parking lots. We’ve seen it in Chesney’s chameleonic ability to be a longtime fan of any sports team willing to offer him a hat to wear. Wherever this miniature Tennessean goes, the wildest carnage follows. And while whatever poor life choices may combine to scar the Fenway after World Series Game 6 will ultimately be the responsibility of the drunks who choose to tip over whatever sedans they choose to tip over, it should come as no surprise that Chesney is in Boston. At a plausibly deniable distance from the chaos to come, naturally.
Secretary of State and actual Red Sox fan John Kerry is at left. MSNBC hosts Mika Brzezinski and “Morning” Joe Scarborough are in the middle, and present certain problems of their own, if we’re being honest. But look there at right. Tiny hands. Large soda. Home team’s hat. Of course, of course, and of course.
We cannot keep letting him get away with this.
Hat tip Cork Gaines for bringing Chesney’s presence to light.
