This is a cover of ‘No Diggity’ about Alpine skiier Ted Ligety

I have a problem: I compulsively substitute people’s names and things into songs. Sometimes, on very, very rare occasions, this can be funny. Most often, however, it’s just me sitting in my house singing some Mariah Carey song but with the word “Drew” in place of “you.” Like I said: it’s a problem.

When I was watching TV the other day, I saw an ad for something featuring Ted Ligety, who won a gold medal in Alpine skiing in 2006. My first thought -- my immediate, instant first thought -- was to insert his last name into the song “No Diggity,” by Blackstreet. You know -- I LIKE THE WAY YOU WORK IT / TED LIGETY / I GOT TO BAG IT UP

This in and of itself was not surprising: “No Diggity” by Blackstreet is one of my favorite songs of all time, and I have probably listened to it several hundred times. I also had this same reaction with Florida forward Will Yeguete, whose names is actually pronounced “yuh-get,” and therefore does not even remotely rhyme with “Diggity.”

Apparently I am not the only person who suffers from this affliction:

Yes, this is a JCPenney ad, wherein Blackstreet’s Chauncey Black sings about Ted Ligety, and shopping ladies dance. In some ways, this is the worst thing ever to happen. For example:

In other ways, it’s the best thing. They actually got Chauncey -- and the Lil Penny version of Chauncey from the original video! -- and they confirmed that somebody else in the world is as stupid as me. And it promotes the song “No Diggity,” which is always a good thing. We are just disappointed Teddy Riley and Dr. Dre and “Queen Pen,” the female rapper who I have never heard of in any context besides the song “No Diggity,” were not involved.

Go Ligety, I suppose.