“Toppings for Touchdowns” has been a mainstay in the DC area for years. The hopes and dreams of low-price pizza connoisseurs hang on Washington’s ability to score touchdowns. There are heady weeks, and lean ones -- now we’re witnessing the slow descent into madness.
The decline of the Washington NFL team as told through a pizza giveaway


It's #Redskins day @PapaJohns_DMV & thanks to a 30-yard Helu Jr. TD, you get one free topping: http://t.co/13TZspuYDW pic.twitter.com/WEUwckDX3P
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) November 17, 2014 One free topping ... one. Pick wisely.
@craigerson @Redskins That topping is sadness.
— Zony Reali (@ZohanJew) November 17, 2014 @Redskins @PapaJohns_DMV YOU M'FERS ARE REACHING NOW! I DON'T WANT NO PITY TOPPINGS FROM YOU BAMMAS!!!
— PLAY SUM DAM FOOTBAL (@skinz4life1975) November 17, 2014 It didn’t always used to be this way.
The season kicked off with a cheese pizza Monday thanks to the Houston Texans, who held Washington to six points. Then came Jacksonville, a gluttonous hedonistic engorgement of toppings -- all 10 of them.
Then the dark age came. It arrived without warning. The recession of toppings dipped below three, the magic number needed for the subjectively perfect trinity of sausage, mushrooms and olives. Something special was required to kick-start Dan Snyder’s pizza-based economy.
Enter Dallas. Washington only scored two touchdowns but used some weird formula to break their topping drought.
2 TDs + 1 W usually = 4 free toppings from @PapaJohns_DMV. But since that W was vs. Dallas, today you can get EIGHT! http://t.co/5WGquXylDH
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) October 28, 2014 That was three weeks ago. The toppings are gone now. Today Washington fans will put cigarette butts on their pizzas and munch the ashes with hatred at what they’ve become. There’s no telling when the toppings will return.
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