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Come Fan with UsTuesday, June 23, 2026

Theo Epstein was willing to ‘soak in deer urine’ for Jon Lester

If your baseball team isn’t doing well, you have to question what types of urine your manager is willing to soak into to make your team successful.

David Banks/Getty Images

Theo Epstein really wanted Jon Lester to join the Cubs. He was willing to do anything, as he said at today’s press conference introducing Lester. Anything. ANYTHING:

“I was ready to soak myself in deer urine, if necessary,” Epstein said.

We’re curious what would’ve caused this to happen. This is a hunting metaphor, obviously, because he was hunting Jon Lester. Except he wasn’t trying to kill Jon Lester. And even if he was, Lester wouldn’t be attracted to the scent of deer urine. We think.

So we’d imagine the scenario where this would’ve happened would be Lester saying “I will sign with your team if we go hunting.” But even then I don’t think you need to SOAK in doe urine to get bucks to appear -- I’ve never hunted deer outside of bar video games, but I imagine it’s more of a sprinkle.

Luckily for Epstein, no urine was required.

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