Every year, the folks at Inside Lacrosse have a bit of self-effacing fun and pick the lacrossiest names in the world of college lacrosse. They look for the ridiculous. They look for the incomprehensibly blue-blooded. It’s a fine mix.
Buxton Tuggle and other (real or fake) lacrosse names
Inside Lacrosse revealed their All-Name Team, with names so magical, we wanted to see if you could spot the lists of fakes.
Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports
You can go here for the full list, but that would ruin a little experiment I’ve set up. I’ve asked fake-name heavyweight Riley Breckenridge -- hella rock star drummer and one of the minds behind Productive Outs -- to compile a list of fake lacrosse names. We’ll see if your keen eye can separate the real names from the fake ones.
Inside Lacrosse gave us a first team and a second team. So did Riley. You have to pick which teams are real and which ones are fake.
Team A
A - Tanner Penhaligon, Fr., Duke
A - Broth Nanners, Jr., Towson
A - Heston P. Chunt, So., Brown
A - Killian Thumbney, Senior, Drexel
M - Wheaton Cheese, Sr., Johns Hopkins
M - Fennel Groncloth, Sr., Sienna
M - Crichton Sepulveda, Fr., Lehigh
M - Felix Chenille, Jr., Binghamton
D - Howland Joustweather, Sr., Bellarmine
D - Cooper Fruitmeal, So., Hofstra
D - Sterling Quercus, Sr., Fairfield
D - Gorman Lapwort, Sr., Hobart
G - Justice Mallcoque, Fr., Sacred Heart
Team B
A-Wellington Stanwick, Sr., Johns Hopkins
A- Shackleford Stanwick, Fr., Johns Hopkins
A- Colton McCaffrey, Fr., Denver
A- Wilkins Dismuke, So., Johns Hopkins
M- Murphy Vandervelde, Sr., Harvard
M- Deemer Class, Jr., Duke
M- Grove Stewart, Sr., Harvard
M- IV Stucker, Fr., Roanoke
D- Haddon Corbett, Jr., Fairleigh Dickinson
D- Gray Hedgecock, So, Coker
D- Rowland Pettit, Jr., Duke
D- Knute Kraus, Sr., Salisbury
G- F. Hambleton “Ham” Sonnenfeld, Jr., Dartmouth
Team C
A - Wedgley Snippet, Sr., Loyola Maryland
A - Lancaster Quimby-Conners, So., Drexel
A - Darth Beagle, Fr., Yale
M - Artisan L. Scrimshaw, Jr., Fairfield
M - Simian Dander, Sr., Bryant
M - Maximilian Cumberbund, Fr., St. Joseph’s
M - Burland Pumkin, Jr., Marist
D - Jaysin Galaga, Sr., Mercer
D - Buxton Tuggle, Fr., Furman
D - Tad Lampley, Jr., Monmouth
D - Corbin Chumscape, So., Penn
G- Lance Manberry, Sr., Brown
Team D
A- McLaren Brady, Jr., Cortland
A- Bear Altemus, Jr., Princeton
A- Tate Beason, So., Florida Tech
A- Max Maxwell, So. UMBC
M- Brickman House, So., Utica
M- Fleet Jernigan, Sr., Hampden-Sydney
M- Brinton Valis, Fr., Johns Hopkins
M- Carney Mahon, Fr., Harvard
M- Griffin Woodfinlevine, So., Montclair State
D- Rich Mix, Fr., Benedictine
D- Rusty Dessert, So., Utica
D- Tripp Telesco, Jr., Lehigh
G- Gunnar Waldt, Jr., Bryant
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