Being a professional cyclist has its workplace dangers: crashes, disturbingly large thighs, people assuming you do steroids even though most people don’t. (Some people don’t. A few people don’t.) Add one to the list: flying mattresses.
Cyclist Matti Breschel hit by flying mattress after race
Gotta watch out for flying mattresses when you’re biking. Wait, what?
“After the stage, we were riding back to our hotel and on a descent when I was going 70 kilometers an hour, a mattress flew into my front wheel and brought the bike to a standstill,” Breschel said via a team press release. “I hit the asphalt pretty hard and lost a lot of skin on my legs and face and the wound on my knee had to be stitched up.”
It left him looking like this:
Tænk at skvatte på en madras og få "patten"fræset af. Av for satan & god bedring @Mattibreschel pic.twitter.com/6wR1nVpvdZ
— Brian Holm (@brianholm1962) February 24, 2014 NO, WHY WOULD YOU SIT DOWN ON A MATTRESS?!?!?! DON'T YOU SEE THEY'RE TRYING TO GET YOU? (We didn't translate the Danish, but we're guessing "madras" means "mattress.")
The incident took place after the last stage of the tour, and Breschel doesn’t expect the injury to change his competitive schedule going forward, but we still have questions:
1. Dude has to bike back to his hotel after the race? He just biked! In a race! Let hiim rest his disturbingly large thighs! (Note: Breschel has recently tweeted an image of his disturbingly large thighs.)
2. ARE MATTRESSES JUST FLYING EVERYWHERE IN OMAN
3. Wouldn’t it have been cool if he had landed on the mattress and everything had been okay? Yeah, that was probably unlikely.
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