This story is actually two stories, both of which are about Shaquille O’Neal, NBA legend, part-owner of the Sacramento Kings, TNT analyst, and guy who for some reason is constantly a part of our lives.
Shaq spends $1,000 a week on smartphone apps, also wants your money for Shaq Fu
Shaq alternately needs your money and tells you about how much money he spends on dumb things.
Kim Klement-US PRESSWIRE
PART ONE: SHAQUILLE O’NEAL SPENDS $1,000 A WEEK ON SMARTPHONE APPS
You might be wondering: how is this possible? Most smartphone apps cost, like, 1-3 dollars, $5 if they’re super-extravagant. To spend $1,000 a week on smartphone apps, Shaq would have to spend over $100 a day, or, like, 40-50 apps. How does he do this?
“Last week I bought like 20 ‘Deer Hunter’ games,” said O’Neal in his interview with the Wall Street Journal. “I like hunting the deer on my phone. When I’m not working, I spend all of my money on apps.”
Oh. Buying 20 deer hunting apps would do that. Although we’re still kinda skeptical that he hits $1,000 a week. Then again, this is the same guy who says stuff like “IF DWIGHT HOWARD DOESN’T AVERAGE 30 AND 15 LIKE ME, HE SHOULDN’T BE AN ALL-STAR” even though he never ever ever averaged 30 or 15 himself. So he might be exaggerating.
PART TWO: SHAQ WANTS YOUR MONEY TO MAKE SHAQ FU 2
Remember the legendary fighting game Shaq Fu, which video game critics universally agree was awful but has nostalgic value because Shaq was in it? Shaq wants to make a sequel. Via our gaming site, Polygon:
“I’ll admit it, Shaq Fu was a horrible game. I’m a huge fan of video games and want to have my name associated with a Shaq Fu game that I’m proud of and would like to play,” said O’Neal in a press release today. “This is my second chance and it’s even better this time since I’m able to partner with the fans to make this happen.”
There’s a trailer!
To do this, he wants your money: $450,000 of it, which he hopes to raise via Indiegogo.
We have a fundraising plan for Shaq Fu: DON’T SPEND $1,000 A WEEK ON SMARTPHONE APPS. Spend $5 a week on smartphone apps, like everybody else. Over the next nine years, you will raise enough money for this game. Also, you’re a millionaire, and you don’t need our money.
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