Georgia basketball has weird sex policies, like “no passion marks”

A work of awesome student journalism at the University of Maryland asked athletic departments around the country for their policies on how student-athletes can use social media. It’s really riveting stuff, and factors into the Northwestern football players’ union case about how athletes on scholarship are subject to restrictions other students simply are not. We highly recommend taking a look at the piece if you’re interested in first amendment issues.

However, let’s skip past the important stuff and go straight to the ridiculous. Included were guidelines Georgia head coach Mark Fox issues to players on not just social media, but also on personal appearance, and, well . . . just take a peek:

Some of these are wise, prudent points about rape and sexual assault, which is a problem on all college campuses for all students, not just basketball players. We should briefly commend Fox for taking a moment to make sure his athletes think in their private lives.

Then things go off the deep end.

1. The most notable thing is the caveat about “hicky’s / passion marks.” Guys, wear turtlenecks! “Hickey” is misspelled and, well, I think this is a passion mark:

2. “Don’t spend all your energy in bed all night.” This isn’t about sex, guys, it’s about basketball. You don’t want guys coming up short in the 39th and 40th minutes because of overzealous banging.

3. What’s more inappropriate: orgies and gang bangs, or a coach telling his players they can’t get involved with orgies and gang bangs if they want to play basketball? Whatever.

The weird part, of course, is not that a coach has a talk with his players about sexual morality -- that would be weird, but probably OK -- but rather that this is explicitly put in writing as part of his team policies, which kinda seems like an infringement on personal life.

Furthermore: no butts

And because you’re on scholarship, the head coach can bust into your room whenever:

OK!

Georgia’s basketball season is over after a loss to Louisiana Tech in the NIT, so the players can presumably go back to their multi-girlfriend hickey parties.