Charles Oakley spent 19 seasons in the NBA but his time on an all-athletes edition of Chopped was sadly short-lived. The former NBA star appeared on the Food Network’s cooking challenge and he was one pinch away from competing for victory.
A play-by-play breakdown of Charles Oakley on ‘Chopped’
Olympians, athletes, Charles Oakley. It was almost a dream.
Photo via Mark J. Rebilas - USA TODAY Sports
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
First basket: Organic green juice, alligator, hen-of-the-woods mushrooms, mini rainbow marshmallows
Competitors rushed to take out their utensils while Oakley slowly and methodically walked to the pantry, unfazed by the pressure.
“No bad luck against other athletes, but I’m the best chef here.”
Breading that alligator and making it spicy. Good call there. We’ll see if the bold move pays off. Oh no... wait... WHY ARE YOU MELTING MARSHMALLOWS IN KALE JUICE?!
Sauce misstep aside, Oak was clutch. He pulled a pro move steeping those ‘shrooms in red wine. It was clear he was safe.
BOOM... BYE JACKIE JOYNER-KERSEE. Not enough marshmallows. You can’t abandon a basket ingredient like that.
Second basket: Turkey tenderloin, double-yolk eggs, patty cake squash, finger limes
Things went a little wild in the second round. Brandi Chastain decided she was going to try and cryovac her turkey, which seemed crazy, but absolutely paid off. It was a little pink, but the judges loved it. Could Oakley answer?
The time was ticking and there were a few seconds left. Oakley GRABBED CHASTAIN’S HOT PAN FROM HER STOVE in order to fry his eggs in time to finish his dish. Did you need that pan? Oak don’t give an eff. His turkey and squash hash was delicious, but he needed salt. Under seasoning has doomed many a competitor before. Would it rear its head again?
Cue dramatic music, lift of the cloche incoming...
OAK? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
No salt, poor fundamentals. Dude can fry and egg in 30 seconds but doesn’t have the time for a pinch of salt. What a sad way to exit.
Whatever... Greg Louganis went buck wild adding almond extract to his mascarpone and Chastain’s dessert was near-flawless. She won, he lost and nothing was the same without Oakley.
Pour one out. We’ll always have the “Oakley Cafe.“
