One quiz entered, one quiz left — with answers. The response to our “Energy drink or nickname?” poll was overwhelming, or it would have been if spreadsheets didn’t allow us to sort them (thanks robots).
Team nickname or energy drink? Nobody knows
We asked, Energy Drink or Team Nickname? You answered ... terribly.
Lars Baron
James Dator has been covering a wide range of sports for SB Nation for over a decade, with a special focus on the NFL.
Relentless
Your answer: 63% believe it’s a team nickname
Result: Energy drink
It totally sounds like an MMA team, right? Unfortunately it’s not. “Relentless” is an energy drink sold in the UK and made by Coca-Cola. This one is made a little tricky by the beverage being a big sponsor of motocross and German soccer team FC St. Pauli, but they’re yet to launch their own team.
Photo via Lars Baron - Getty Images
Jeff Gordon
Your answer: 47% believe it’s both a team nickname AND energy drink
Result: Both
Just a shade under half of respondents knew that No. 28 is both someone’s name and an energy drink. Pepsi made the beverage until it was discontinued in 2008, when it went out of top.
Man, this energy drink was so good. It was basically the only thing that helped me survive midnight premieres of movies when I managed a theater. It was crisp, refreshing and had a big old heaping of that “energy drink burn” that you know is destroying your esophagus with flavor.
We have deep concerns for the 13-percent of you who believe Jeff Gordon is ONLY an energy drink. It’s like the poor guy never existed.
Burn
Your answer: 68% believe it’s a team nickname
Result: Both, kind of
The Boise Burn were a short-lived Arena Football team that folded in 2009 after three years of operation. Any discussion of the team is incomplete unless we address its horrific logo.
Picture via Wikimedia Commons
It’s like someone in their marketing department said “Kids like Ghost Rider” and co-opted it into this weird flaming skull thing that eats footballs. All it does it make us miss “The Noid,” what happened to that dude anyway?
There was also the “Dallas Burn” which FC Dallas operated under in the MLS until 2004, but did have a horse breathing fire.
The energy drink is another Coca-Cola joint that positions itself as a drink for DJs. Talk about a narrow marketing scheme.
Power
Your answer: 81% believe it’s an energy drink
Result: Team nickname
Mind = blown. Sorry gang, everyone needs to keep up on their Aussie Rules better.
Meet the Port Adelaide Power, who play in the AFL — Australia’s premiere league. It’s impossible to find a good reason why they’re named the “Power,” but who really cares? What’s more shocking is that energy drink companies opted for things like “Blue Charge” and “Verve” over “Power.”
Oh and Port Adelaide’s song is quite possibly the stupidest thing you’ve heard.
Machine
Your answer: 48% believe it’s a team nickname
Result: Team nickname
Good job everyone! Give yourselves a pat on the back. This is another one of those times where you’re SURE it has to be an energy drink, but the world of lacrosse comes to our rescue.
The Ohio Machine were founded in 2011 and play in the MLL. They have won four total games in two years, so perhaps it’s time to just dissolve the team and sell the assets to launch an energy drink.
What did we learn?
Nobody has any clue whether something is a team nickname or an energy drink.
How can we apply this knowledge?
No idea. Coffee table book?
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