Merril Hoge vs. Jadeveon Clowney vs. Vine

Earlier this week, I made the mistake of thinking about ESPN’s Merril Hoge and his troll-gaze approach to assessing the players in the NFL Draft. I wrote about him, and it. It turns out I didn’t need to do any of that.

I won’t tell you that I didn’t enjoy coming up with new ways to compare Merril Hoge to a Slim Jim in a comically overstated necktie. I did enjoy doing that, and consider that something like my life’s work. But sometimes a few seconds of video does the job that a few hundred words can’t. All praises due, as ever, to resident Vinesmith Brian Floyd.