Remember Paul The Octopus, the psychic cephalopod who picked all those soccer games correctly four years ago? Yes, he was our homie, but now, he is dead. He lived in an aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany, and because of his popularity, every damn zoo in Deutschland appears to have claimed one of their animals had soccer-picking powers.
All Germany’s psychic animals believe in USA
Germany’s zoos are filled with animals trying to tell everybody that AMERICA’S GONNA WIN, Y’ALL
The thing, though? All those animals seem to be picking America.
Here’s Nelly the Elephant in Hannover, who reportedly has picked 30 of 33 games over the years correctly. She walloped the ball into America’s net:
She already nailed Portugal < Germany and although she picked Ghana to beat Germany, that went off the post, so we can imagine she was really predicting a tie after a strong effort from Ghana.
Here’s Nasar the horse, again clearly kicking the ball into America’s net:
Meet the German horse asked to predict winner of #USA-#GER #WorldCup match. He picked the U.S. http://t.co/euzr0kSzqX pic.twitter.com/ut12vbWrA3
— Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) June 26, 2014 Even though it’s wearing a German flag, Nasar knows what’s up. The horse has been living inside a house since a storm last year, so you can tell it’s a damn smart horse.
Finally, there’s Regina the Octopus, Paul’s direct successor, Regina was embarrassed after picking Ghana to win, perhaps because she didn’t know picking a tie was an option. (Paul was lucky enough not to be tasked with predicting any matches that ended up being ties.) When it came time to pick USA-Germany, this friggin’ octopus decided NOT TO EAT THE FOOD ITS KEEPERS GAVE IT FOR NINE WHOLE MINUTES, which the zoo people decided was the octopus picking a tie:
Of course, a tie is as good as a win for America, so we’ll take it.
I have not yet seen any German zoo animals picking Germany. NBC reported there was a whole slew of animals around Germany making picks, but I can’t find any updates on the ones that aren’t included here.
We don’t want to make any guarantees because we’re nervous as hell, but it’s clear that these German animals know what’s up. Even though they’re fed and bathed and loved by Germans, they have to suck up their patriotism and pick a true winner when they see one.
Go America, guys.
via f.cl.ly
